In the age where all sources of entertainment are available to all age groups, it becomes a challenge to pick and choose the ones that are suitable for our kids, who are still growing and can be influenced easily by exposure to material that is not appropriate to their age.

Playing games is one thing that all kids love and there are countless websites over the internet that offer online games for kids. However, adult supervision is still crucial in this regard. The games kids play should also serve educational purposes because at the end of the day, kids spend a substantial amount of time on the computer and that must not go in vain.

We have enlisted a few games that kids can play online without fearing any harmful effects related to violence, psychological manipulation, and sexual content:

Wallykazam! Letter and Word Magic

This game has been specifically designed for educational purposes as it promotes reading habits in kids. Guardians who want their kids to enjoy and learn at the same time can use this game as an outlet. The main theme of the game is to build a tower with rhyming words, which helps in enhancing their vocabulary, spellings, and reading skills, all at the same time.

Burger Now

On a lighter note, this one is especially for foodie kids who all they think about is food, whether it is virtual life or real. Burger Now is an exciting, timed game in which the player is given a menu for every customer, and they have to prepare the item in a specified time-limit. With every order served, the scores keep adding, and in case of a late or slow delivery, the customers get grumpy and leave the counter. This is a game you don’t have to worry that your kid is playing as it is safe and age-appropriate to kids of almost all ages.

Build Your Snowman

Yet another game for kids is Build Your Snowman, which comes with different options for decorating a snowman. The time does not require any particular skill, and any kid can play this game without worrying about having to lose or win. It’s just that simple!

Puzzle Bobble

This classic game reminded us of the nineties games. When all kids used to get home from school and play puzzle bobble. Puzzle bobble is a fun game that allows the player to burst bubbles of the same colors and level up. The game is fun and has various stages. Its difficulty rises with each level, which is what makes it exciting for kids.

Cars 2

For automobile junkies, Cars 2 is the best kids’ game out there. It is based on the popular animated movie Cars and involves racing, as is evident from the name itself.

What needs to be ensured is that kids play games that provide not only entertainment but also serve some useful or educational purposes. Or are not harmful, at the least. That is why the games listed above made our list of the best kids games online.

In the early stages of your startup, you may not have wads of cash to spend on marketing. However, that does not mean that there are no effective ways to get your brand out there to get a name for yourself.

Small businesses only had a few ways to market their products cheaply before the Internet was invented. They promoted their products through methods like printing out fliers or sponsoring small local events. You need to know where to look, as they’re so many opportunities out there on the web for you to market to your target audience. It is known as digital marketing or internet marketing in simple terms.

Here are some ways to promote your business online:

1. Learn To Set up Google Business Profiles:

Register your business with Google Places. It allows you to be found easily on Google searches because it is easy to optimize. Yahoo! Local and Microsoft’s Bing can also be used to register your business for promotional purposes. All you have to do is fill out the form and register. You will get your business verified through their confirmation process. It can be done either by phone or snail mail verification.

2. Welcome To Social Media:

Social media is not only for your scrolling news feed on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media platforms. Social media can be used as an engaging tool to market and engage your audience. It has become a source of marketing and an affordable way for businesses to get their name out. You can boost your business through ad promotions, sharing links, joining groups, and coordinating events with peers and other local business owners. 

3. Start Blogging For Your Business:

Starting a blog not only gives you confidence but also gives your work a unique impression. It helps your company get its name out through followers and connect with your consumers more directly. Nevertheless, the key to success is to keep your stream updated as frequently as you can. Get a branded domain for your company so that you can advertise it properly. Stay active with your blog, because a dormant and abandoned blog does not provide the value it once did. 

4. Multimedia on YouTube and Flickr:

YouTube is one of the most significant search engines on the planet. Make videos, upload them, get subscribers, and promote your business. To make things work out, you need to create content that captivates viewers and is relevant to your business. Here simplicity will not work; you need creativity and quality production to retain viewers. 

5. SEO Your Website:

SEO (search engine optimization) is one of the latest techniques to bring your brand to the top of Google. It cannot be ignored in a world of constant Googling. Make sure your site is primed for performance on search engines, you will need to understand on-site optimization and off-site optimization so that your website will compete for top rankings in Google search. 

6. Press Release:

The press release is one of the best ways to get to the top. Never hesitate to shoot off a press release whenever your business does something newsworthy.

Join a relevant community and learn and progress.

Wake Up!

Don’t just sit there and dream about it, prepare for your retirement like you know it’s coming! Trust us, one day you will wake up and that day will be here. One minute you’re working on the Ford assembly line in Wayne, Michigan, and the next minute your crushing beer cans while swinging the 9 iron across several Michigan golf resorts. It’s a scary reality, and it happens to everyone, so you might as well make the best of it. So what do you do when the work bell rings for the last time? You pick up a golf club and you head out to the greens for some rounds with the fellas. Golf is a low impact sport that can be played all the way through to hospice. So here are some things to consider before hanging up your work boots for a pair of golf shoes.

Learning to Golf for Retirement

If you finally hit your retirement age after so many long years in the workforce, you may be wondering what you should do with all your new free time. Now that you do not have a job to go to anymore, the world is open to so many new possibilities and hobbies for you to explore, learn, and grow both mentally and physically. One of the top retirement hobbies is golfing.

Golfing is an excellent sport for everyone of all ages. It is not as intense as football or soccer, yet it still requires precise planning and body strength. For older and retired folks, it is an overall great solution to stay in shape, meet new people, and gives you something to look forward to. Most golf courses are also brew-friendly, so walking 9 holes with a cold one in-hand isn’t out of the ordinary, and this is just another reason why golf is awesome!

Staying in Shape

The physical benefits of golfing are well known, especially for those who play regularly. According to Golf Digest Magazine, on average, golfers will walk about 4 miles during a typical 18-hole course and burn roughly 1,400 calories. If riding in a cart instead, you are estimated to burn about 850 calories. From all of this physical activity, you not only gain stamina, but you also increase your muscle strength (arms, legs, and core) and enhance heart health. These are all aspects that are extremely important for everyone to keep up with, but especially critical as you age. Look, we are all going to die, if you are going to have a heart attack, it’s better to have one on a grassy green fairway than a lazy boy recliner watching re-runs of Lone Ranger.

Mental Health

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Golfing is excellent at keeping you sharp by working your brain. Mens golf, and women’s golf continue to grow and will provide you with a healthy platform to stay strong physically, and mentally. You have to continuously think about calculations such as ball location, wind strength and direction, and how tall the grass is. Just like all exercises, golfing also has been shown to release endorphins, which is the hormone that makes you feel good. From keeping your brain fit to feeling great after you play, this is perfect for ensuring proper mental health during your retirement. All that walking is great for cardio, and the extra oxygen pumping to the brain is going to support your mental health, as long as you aren’t puffing a bunch of recreational THC cigarettes.

Social Benefits

When you retire, chances are you will not be associating with as many people or as often as you were when you went to work every day. The rapid transition from being around people every day to generally alone can cause depression. This is why it is critical to stay social once you retire. Golfing is a great way to form new and lasting friendships with people who have the same interests as you. It also gives you something to look forward to and people to share your golfing experiences with. You can certainly play golf on your own if you wish, but if you feel like becoming more social, golf can bring people together and form new relationships. If you’re retired, but not yet knock’n on heaven’s door, golfing might also give you an opportunity to meet some older ladies. If the hardware is still active, you might be playing more than 18 holes.

Conclusion

Golfing is a wonderful sport that is both relaxing and challenging. This is an ideal combination that makes golfing an addicting sport to take on. Since you are retired or soon to be, feel free to go at any time of day during the week to either avoid or immerse yourself in the busy hours. Enjoy your freedom and ability to perfect your swing on your own time and have fun in the process.

Wake Up!

If you have been surfing the web, looking for the right luxury apartment, you can stop right now! First, most of them are overpriced for the amenities they offer. Seriously, why do you need half the stuff they offer? Are you that high maintenance? Well, here’s the scoop! There are some that are pretty rad and might be worth the expense, it’s just a matter of finding the one that is right for you. It doesn’t matter if you are looking for a luxury apartment in OKC, or a luxury apartment in Seattle, these rules apply no matter where you are in the country looking for your next place to call home. So, here we will break down some of the obvious things you should look for when searching for your first luxury apartment.

What To Look For In a Luxury Apartment

When looking for a new apartment, it’s easy to get overwhelmed whether you’re looking to buy or rent. With so many options and considerations, the last thing you want is to make a decision you’ll later regret. Therefore, we’ve broken down some key considerations below. As long as you pay attention to everything we mention, you shouldn’t have a problem finding a home that suits your needs whether these are short-term or long-term.

Location, Location, Location

When faced with thousands of search results online, one of the easiest and quickest ways to filter is through location. There’s no point finding a home of your dreams only to then discover it’s 50 miles away from work. Of course, you need to consider location with regards to the following; 

• Work 
• Schools 
• Family 
• Shops 
• Public transportation 
• Any clubs you attend

Amenities

What’s important to you inside the apartment and apartment building itself? Do you need a washer and dryer? Would you like a shared gym for the building? Do you need a parking spot? As well as the amenities in the building, you can again think about the amenities in the local area. For example, where are you going to go if you need some milk late at night?

Cost

When trying to find the right apartment, too many people only consider rent when thinking about finances. Since this isn’t going to be your only expense, you can’t afford to forget trash, maintenance, water, pet fees, internet and cable services, utilities, and all the other expenses that come with the apartment. Although it sounds like hard work, researching these costs could save you hundreds of dollars each month.

Potential

In the title, we posed the question of what you need to look for in an apartment. As well as thinking about right now, you also need to think about the future. Will you change jobs? Are you planning on having children? Is a child soon to be going to school? If you don’t think about the future, it will only be a matter of time before you need to move again. Consider where you want to be in five years and whether a potential apartment will accommodate this.

Sleeping Habits

Another consideration people often ignore is sleep. For light sleepers, location is an important factor, as is the layout of the building. If you’re a light sleeper, having another apartment in every direction could cause problems. Therefore, you might want to look for single-story apartments or even those on the top floor of a building. This way, you aren’t disrupted by noisy neighbors each night.

Help with Pets

It goes without saying that those with pets will need a landlord happy enough for you to keep them in the apartment, but some actually go further these days. Why go to an apartment where your pet is accepted when you can choose one where your pet will be loved? For example, some have dog walking/sitting services whenever you need, dog parks, grooming stations, and more all nearby.

Accommodating Your Lifestyle

At this stage, we hope you’ve noticed a theme to our guide. There’s no universal ‘best’ apartment, and you’re not going to find the perfect answer online. Instead, you need an apartment that will accommodate your lifestyle without you having to sacrifice anything. In the right location for YOU, with amenities in the building, a cost within your budget, and potential to meet your needs in the future, you’ll have an apartment that quickly becomes a home!

People need blood, and people need stem cell transplants, so it’s time for us to WakeUp as a culture and does some donating, especially this time of year.

The numbers don’t lie, blood transfusions and bone marrow disease are real, and you can do something about it!! There are about 35,000 pints of blood used in the U.S. every day, according to BNL Blood Drives. That is insane, and if you never been on either side of it, you wouldn’t fathom how massive that is. There are people in need of blood every day for life-saving reasons, so if you have never donated, now is the time to step up and give back. There are blood donation centers all around the country, click that link, and you can find one in your area.

There are many reasons for receiving blood; some people wind up in horrific accidents and lose significant amounts of blood. In contrast, others need transfusions because of complications from disease and health-related issues. Regardless of why they need it, just knowing that 35,000 pints of blood are used each day should wake you up like a blast of NARCAN and get you running to your nearest donation center.

Knowing that could be you one day if you accidentally run a red light, or your child if they are injured in some freak accident on the playground. Who knows when, and who knows how? We don’t, so it’s best to be prepared. Giving your blood to others will ensure that there is a local supply in your community for your blood type, and that could mean something if you find yourself in the emergency room one day in need of a few pints of Dracula juice.

Blood talk aside, bone marrow donors are also needed as more than 44,000 Americans will need a bone marrow transplant this year alone. Bone cancer is killing people, and you can do your part saving a life by donating. The technology behind it all is getting better; it’s less painful and has a faster recovery time than ever before.

The new year is almost here, step up, and donate blood and bone marrow. People need you, and one day it could be you in need. It’s time to WakeUp and smell the coffee people, the disease is real, and it could happen to you or a loved one anytime. So make the right decision and start looking into some of these resources on donating blood and marrow.

Blood Donation Resources:

• Find a Blood Drive
• Blood Donation Overview
• Donation and Transfusion Education

Stem Cell Donation Resources:

• Find a Stem Cell Donation Center
• Stem Cell Donation Overview
• Stem Cell Donation Education

These are just a few national resources that anyone can access and review. Do your research, find local donation centers that represent a definite cause, and their not just a profit-hungry organization getting into the business for financial gains. Plenty of these donation centers were built because loved ones have been lost, make sure you are giving for the right cause, and to the right organization so that you know your blood or stem cell donations wind up helping the right people.

Too many people sleeping on the job, it’s time to Wakeup! Do you realize how many accidents happen every year as the result of sleep employees? Thousands! Seriously people, it’s time to Wakeup and pay attention to what’s happening around you.

In business, we like to think that everything will go smoothly, and there’s nothing wrong with hoping for the best. However, there also needs to be a plan in place just in case the worst happens, and this is where incident management software comes in. 

In case you haven’t seen this type of software before, it’s installed to alert team members when there’s a problem with an IT service. With a solution like this in place, downtime is limited, and you aren’t losing potential customers just because of a small issue with your IT services. Not only is the team alerted to the problem, some software solutions will create a report and even automate a workflow to ensure the problem is resolved as quickly as possible. 

Why have safety management software in your business? 

Boost Productivity 

In years gone by, there would be an element of guessing about incidents and the resolution required to get back up and running. Now, an incident management program will remove this guesswork and follow a set procedure. For example; 

• Identify the problem 
• Categorize the incident 
• Set a priority level 
• Respond to the incident 
• Analyze whether there are patterns and trends to this incident and others like it 

When multiple incidents happen at the same time, the priority ranking ensures that the most serious issues are dealt with as early as possible. Meanwhile, smaller problems are fixed whenever the resources become available. 

 Help with Documentation and Reporting 

What happens when the shareholders, directors, or another stakeholder wants to see a report on IT service management and effectiveness? With an incident management system in place, it’s suddenly much easier to document performance and the utilization of resources. 

Visibility and Credibility 

Often, complaints and issues will come from the customer directly. Of course, customers need to feel as though their voice is heard and this is where the brilliant ticketing system is useful. Even when communicating with staff who have reported a problem, a ticketing system allows the other party to manage expectations and see that the problem is actually being investigated rather than ignored. 

When customers feel they have a voice, they feel valued by the company and it’s possible to build credibility within the market. At the same time, the IT department enjoys the system because tickets are organized and assigned rather than two people doing the same work. 

Quick Resolutions and Top Service 

With the biggest problems having top priority assigned to them, they’re more likely to get resolved quickly. Rather than wasting time on basic problems, the IT team can use their time more efficiently and this leads to the best possible service for all involved. If the website has crashed or a particular contact form isn’t working, it goes through the system and gets fixed with speed. For the customer, they see that this is a company that knows what they’re doing. You gain credibility, respect, and a reputation for brilliant service. 

Data Feedback 

As the final benefit of choosing incident management software, they gather data from all the incidents that pass through the software, and this has the potential to be invaluable. You can review; 

• The time spent on each ticket 
• The speed of dealing with each priority level
• Patterns and trends of incidents 
• Severity of incidents 
• Difficulty of incidents to resolve 

By setting parameters, you can even use the software to meet SLA requirements. Therefore, you should now start to see why so many businesses are implementing this type of software. By forgoing this technology, you don’t get the data, your customers are left in the dark, and your resources are deployed poorly!

Wake up! It’s Saturday morning and it’s time to help mom clean the house. I remember those days growing up, Saturdays sucked almost as bad as the school week. Mom would crank her music on, open the bedroom door, and say wakeup, it’s time to clean! I hated that with a passion. Well, fast forward all these years and here I am writing about surfactant cleaners, and little did I know back then, I was using them to clean that kitchen every weekend.

So What Are Surfactants?

The word surfactant is derived from a sequence of words called “Surface Active Agents.” The actual surfactants are molecules that are used to help reduce the tension of water on a given surface and helps it spread more evenly. To simplify this statement, why don’t we say that surfactants make water even wetter. Surfactants are also penetrating agents that are designed to get deep into the crevices of any service and loosen the soil so that cleaning becomes more efficient.

So How Does A Surfactant Work?

When you add chemical surfactants to water, you help the water spread more evenly over a surface. If you clean your kitchen counter and spray a chemical on the surface, you may notice that the liquid beads up on the surface of the counter. This chemical reaction allows the water to spread more evenly across the surface of your counter, penetrate cracks and crevices, loosen dirt and grime, and clean the surface more efficiently. Surfactants are made up of multiple molecular elements. There is a head and a tail, one attracts water (head), and the other repels water (tail). When surfactants are not present in water, the water will bead tightly. When surfactants are added to water they the beads flatten and cover more surface area. Adding surfactants to cleaning products helps the solution to spread more evenly and covers more of the surface you are trying to clean. 

Why Surfactants Are Perfect For Cleaning

When you spray a degreasing cleaning solution on a surface for cleaning purposes, the tail of the surfactant works its way into direct contact with the surface area. During this process, it will wedge itself between the surface and the dirt and grime that is on the surface area. By doing this, the surfactant element is loosening the dirt particles from the surface area, making it easier to clean. This process is referred to as roll-up and is referencing the event when the surfactant roll up the dirt particles as it makes contact with the surface area. Products like Aqua-cleen degreaser additives are added to household cleaning supplies to create this unique. As this happens, the hydrophobic tails of the surfactant cling to the dirt since it is not water. This allows the cleaning solution to bind with the soil and will enable you to clean more efficiently. 

Surfactants In The Home

Most household cleaning solutions consist of surfactants that help you every time you clean your kitchen or bathroom. Surfactants make cleaning faster and help keep surface areas clean and free of dirt particles. Surfactants can be found in the best laundry detergent, dishwashing soap, toilet cleaners, shower cleaners, and other interior and exterior residential cleaning supplies.

In today’s world, advertising and the wider marketing section of your business has the potential to be a catalyst. With one marketing campaign, all your Christmases can come at once and the business can propel towards its goals. Alternatively, it could not only drain your marketing budget but drown the business too. 

With such high stakes, you may consider an advertising agency. If this is the case, allow us to explain what you can expect from the experience! 

A Reliable, Experienced Partner

First and foremost, the reason we choose a professional in any field is for their experience and insights. Whether an accountant or a car mechanic, we need their guidance in an area in which we don’t feel comfortable or simply need assistance. With an advertising agency, this is no different; they’ve worked in the area for some time, understand the strategies that work (and the ones that don’t!), and this has the potential to save lots of time and money. Media buying, video production, and digital marketing all require the expertise of an experienced marketing agency. Companies like Beyond Theory offer premier marketing services that cater to the needs of all business types.

As you continue to grow, the agency will stand beside you and contribute in whatever way you need. 

Support Across All Campaigns

Essentially, your chosen advertising agency becomes an outsourced chief marketing officer (CMO). As an addition to the team, they will help across all campaigns whether you want to focus on TV ads, social media, or another platform entirely. 

If we take social media as an example, this arena is continually changing. Rather than taking the time to stay up to date with algorithms and what advertising techniques are outperforming all others, outsource to a team of social media experts that deal with this area every single day.

Creative Assistance and Direction

Let’s face it, dealing with advertising isn’t just a matter of investing time, it requires creativity. With every year that passes, it’s taking more and more creativity to stay relevant in any industry. The more creative you are, the more likely you are to catch the attention of your target market. You’re not just paying to get these things done, you’re paying to get them done well. 

It’s important to distinguish between the big picture and more refined tasks too. As well as helping with specific campaigns, your advertising agency can help to innovate and create a strategy that pushes your own business beyond the competition. Over time, you can sit down with your new partner every so often and discuss how well the company is progressing towards long-term goals.

Data-Driven Expertise

We live in a world of data, and it’s easy to get lost in a sea of percentages and metrics. With an advertising agency, you have a service that will manage this data and make the right decisions based on customer segmentation, consumer behavior, and the ever-changing market. We’ve spoken about creativity, but creative advertising will only get you so far; you also need to reach out in the right places at the right times. 

Results

Finally, we can’t forget that the results will decide whether or not the investment has been worthwhile. Using everything that we’ve discussed so far, the reputation of advertising agencies is built upon their track record. With the very best agencies, they will exploit all the right avenues in order to boost exposure for your business. 

To finish, here’s some more things you can expect for your business with an advertising agency; 

• A strategic partner 
• Revenue 
• Improvement in the customer experience 
• Knowledge of advertising techniques and strategies
• Ad content that resonates with prospective clients 
• Growth 
• Long-term planning

What’s more, the agency will adjust their service depending on what you need. Rather than a one-size-fits-all approach, they will listen to your needs and goals, learn your industry, and adopt a tailored strategy! 

Wake Up! Anyone denying climate change is out of their mind! Polar caps are melting, the rubber on my shoes is melting, and the plastic surgery on Kylie Jenner is melting off her face!

Wake up people! Al Gore pushed the topic hard after he failed to win his presidential bid, politicians laughed, people blew it off, but there were a small group of “Green-Minded” individuals that took what o’l Al was saying to heart and embraced his message.

July 2019 is officially the hottest month on record and if you are concerned about what that means for your future, or the future for your kids, you better wake the Fuk Up! This is the hottest month on record since July of 2016.

The earth is being polluted at a rate that has never existed before. China, the U.S. and other big industrial countries have been back-handing Mother Earth like it was the 1950’s and dinner wasn’t made yet. Well, Mother Earth got tired of the backhands, and 70 years later has returned to burn our souls. Hell, maybe with all the recent mass shootings, it’s a sign that we are closer to hell than we think. These idiots have no respect for human life and these tragedies may be an indication that hell is upon us.

So what do we do once we wake up? It’s time to go green! If you live in Washington State, California, or Colorado… you have probably already gone green, you Bob Marley spliff smoke’n hippy hooligan! Seriously though, time to re-think how you operate on a day to day basis. Somebody tell Taylor Schilling that Green is the new black!

There are some environmentally conscious changes you can make to your daily routine and none of this is new to anyone. So listen up while I drop some green knowledge on that azz!

• Car Pool – This is an easy one, you have been told for decades to car pool, the emissions and toxic fumes are automobiles produce is an ozone wrecker.

• Electric Car – Electric cars are a thing, you can actually buy a vehicle that is battery powered, saving the environment of toxic emissions.

• Solar Car – Elon Musk is becoming a leader in solar energy. The potential for solar powered cars, and solar powered roofing supplies make solar a great choice. Heck, you can even turn your garage solar!

• Solar Home – The home is an energy consuming machine that the drains the electrical grid dry of energy on a daily basis. For those states that run heaters most of the year (Washington) or those state that run air conditioning units 24 hours a day all summer long (Arizona) turning your home into a solar powered machine is a great way to contribute and do your part!

• Limit Fossil Fuel Dependency – If you love toys, and I’m not talking toys for the bedroom…. I’m talking big-boy toys like side by side razors and boats, you need to consider limiting the use of these toys and start thinking about mountain biking and other non-fossil fuel dependent activities.

Look, some of you will read this and take notice that the hottest month on record just passed us by, and from the looks of things now these temperatures aren’t cooling anytime soon. Those people that acknowledge this may be willing to make a change, go-green, go-solar, go-electric, and contribute to this effort. Then there is the other group that will read this and say, ugh, huh-huh…. this is like stupid. Those individuals will walk away from this incredible article only to light up a smoke on the back porch while spying on the neighbor girl sun bathing. If he’s inspired by her, then maybe, just maybe she an electric car, or solar powered home and can influence this Beavis into going green for the sake of Mother Earth before she back-hands us back like it’s the 1950’s and she’s a man hating machine on the warpath.

How A Blue Jays Game Turned Into A Plumbing Nightmare

I went up to Toronto August 3rd to catch the Blue Jays and Mariners game (results here) with my buddy. We are both fans of the Jays, in fact, we have been Toronto fans since the days of George Bell if that tells you anything! Anyway, whenever we are in Toronto we eat like kings and drink like fish, there is nothing healthy about that trip when we make it. The game was awesome, the Jays beat the Mariners 7-2 which gave us even more reasons to celebrate!

During the game though, my stomach started churning, and I had to take a dump bad. I can usually fight off the cramps and gurgles, but when I start sweating it’s time to make a dash to the can! My buddy knew what was up, we have been around each other long enough that when he saw that look on my face it was clear that I needed to get to the restroom immediately. I jumped out of my seat and walked to the restroom at a pretty decent pace. When I arrived there was  a small line, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it, or if I was going to just have to drop this load in my shorts and flush them down the toilet. As my turn was approaching, I could feel this thing turtle necking and trying to push its way out my bum. The sweat was pouring on hard, I had pitted out my shirt, and my forehead was dripping.

After standing for almost 10 minutes in line, I reached point of no return, I had a little slip and totally sharted. I couldn’t tell if it was visible yet from behind, so I just closed my eyes and waited for the next bathroom stall to open. Some old guy cam wondering out of the stall and I almost knocked him over trying to get in there before he even had a chance to get out. Once I entered the stall, I couldn’t get my drawers off quick enough, within seconds I was sitting on the toilet and letting loose. I’m pretty sure everyone in Rogers Centre heard the disaster that was taking place. After 15 minutes of toilet time, two flushes,  and half gallon of sweat, I was ready to wipe up and get out of there. The only issue I had was the start stained underwear I had been wearing, I wasn’t about to pull those back up and watch the rest of the games with them on.

So, I made a beer influenced decision and decided that my compression underwear was thin enough to flush down the toilet. Ask me why I made that decision when I’m sober and couldn’t tell you, catch me with a few beers in me and ask and I’ll tell you I had no choice. Prior to flushing though, I wound the underwear up into something that resembled a rope, something that could easily slither it’s way through the Rogers Centre plumbing system and into the sewer lines. It was this intoxicated reasoning that led me to one of the most embarrassing plumbing disasters I have ever been a part of.

I twisted up the underwear and slid it into the toilet like a snake, I have had poops that resembled this so I figured I was safe. Once the underwear was pretty much out of site I decided to flush, what I should have done is just left it and let the next guy flush. I pushed down the handle and it was an experience that was lived out in slow motion. I could hear the water struggling to drain and watched it start to back up, as the water was backing up it was almost like it was sucking everything back out of the pipes and into the toilet bowl. The water was getting darker, toilet paper was resurfacing, and I was in a panic, what did I just do?

I tried to casually walk out of the stall, but that’s kinda hard to do when there are 20 people behind you trying to use that toilet. I waived it off as if I knew nothing about why the toilet was clogged, but as I turned the corner to wash my hands I heard someone say “hey, there is underwear in this toilet”. By this time the water was overflowing and the place was turning into a scene of chaos. They needed the best drain cleaning services in Toronto to clean that mess up. Hopefully they were able to reach a qualified plumber in time to get the toilet fixed before the 7th inning stretch.

I returned to my seat almost 40 minutes later only to see my buddy laughing hysterically at me. My shirt was soaked in sweat, my face red from embarrassment, and he knew it was time for a beer. We left the game early and headed over to the best pub in Toronto for some cold ones. Not sure I will ever return to Rogers Centre after that one.

Wake Up Fat Ass! It’s Crossfit Time!

Put the Twinkie and soda down fat boy, it’s time to Wake Up! and smell the coffee!! Life is short, not as short as your pecker, but it’s damn short! If you want this thing to end sooner than is natural keep eating junk and sitting on your ass, if you want to live  a long healthy life you better start thinking about a few things that are going to make a difference in your timeline. One of those things is diet, the other is exercise. There are a dozen ways to skin a cat, the same goes with diet and exercise chunk-boy! You gotta find a diet that works for you, stop stuffing your face and learn about a little thing called eating in moderation. Thanksgiving is once a year, not weekly porker! When you add some exercise to those kind of eating habits you get results and those results I’m talking about is good health. So, now that we have the diet all figured out and you know that healthy foods in moderation are going to give you a better chance at living than your McDonalds diet you are currently hogging out on, it’s time to talk exercise. You can get buy walking the block, pumping the rusty weights in your folks backyard, or doing P90X in your basement, but if you want to make real strides you will join a gym. Getting into a gym and training in an environment where you can get support from the people there is gonna push you to get off your ass and play hard. You gotta get that heart rate pumping, sweat pouring, and body aching. Going half ass isn’t going to get you the results you need and want, so go hard or go home!

The Athlete And The Receding Hairline

Athletes are notorious for wearing caps and helmets during game time, at least in baseball and football. But there are plenty of non hat/helmet wearing athletes that fall victim to hair loss. Is that hereditary or are these guys rock’n hats in their off time. I’m not even really sure what causes hair loss to be honest, I just know that there are a lot of athletes that are walking around with half a head of hair. Football players have high receding hair lines and I can almost guarantee that it’s due to the helmets they have worn since high school. Baseball players are constantly wearing caps during the game and when in the outfield. But basketball players don’t wear any caps during the game and most of them are bald. I realize that for many it’s a style, but for the many others that don’t rock it as a style, the bald look is something they actually don’t want to be seen with. Many athletes trim up other areas of their body and go hairless on their tattooed arms, but the head is a whole other story. I’ve rocked long hair most of my life, so the crew cut style look has never really appealed to me. I can’t imagine that Lebron James is thrilled about his head of hair, or that any other basketball player that is losing his mop is happy about that. So what do you do? Sign up for an NBA hair transplant? If you are making millions playing sports I say fugettaboutit! You don’t need a head of hair to attract women. The massive bulge in your wallet should draw the attention of the finest babes in town, and if they aren’t attracted to you, just buy their love for a night, it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than falling in love! Hair loss among your average guy doesn’t seem as rampant as it does in professional sports. I know many guys on personal levels and business acquaintances that have full heads of hair, I know more guys with hair than without. So what does that say about all these balding athletes? Is it the supplements they are taking? Is it the constant hat wearing, keeping disguises 24/7 while in public? That has to wear away at the hair follicles on your head and leave your top short on hair. For those of you that wear hats on the daily and are noticing some thinning around the edges, wake up! If you don’t stop with all that hat wearing you will indeed lose your hair.

Brain Dead In Denver Doing Stuff

union station

Remember that movie from the 90’s called Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead with Andy Garcia and Steve Buscemi? If not, check it out because it was a pretty slick flick! Anyway, I was in Denver last month visiting a buddy and we were definitely looking for things to do in Denver, brain dead! Yup, weed in legal now in Colorado, which makes Denver a place to waste your mind! Not only did we drink like fish, we smoked like chimney stacks and ate enough edibles to sedate an elephant. Denver was cool, we hung out near Coors field and drank Coors Light all night! That came after we drank local brews all day and needed to water down our blood streams. Switching to Coors Light after drinking IPA all day is really like switching to water. We had to sober up, so light beers and marijuana edibles were a great way to sober our minds and get ready for the night life. We started out around 4pm for some real bar hopping, that came after drinking at least 15 beers each and getting stoned off some Colorado Chronic. I’m not gonna lie, we were ripped when we set foot out onto the streets of Denver and it was nonsense from the get-go. We started talking smack the second we hit the street and almost got in a fight with some local thugs, my buddy stripped down to his underwear and these dudes wanted nothing to do with us. It was a pretty epic moment and we couldn’t stop laughing about it the rest of the night. We wandered by some store front properties and ventured through some of the stores, poking around at gadgets and random locally made goods. We came across an epic find when stumbled into Franks Denver Barbershop to buy some hair gel. We started drunk talking with the barber who ended up being a hell of a guy.

Investing In a Vacation Property In Mexico

I like Rocky Point Mexico, you really can’t beat that trip to the sandy beach resort area. The beaches are beautiful, the sands are soft and powder like, the waters are blue, and the vibe is typically fun and entertaining. Rocky Point is a vacation destination for many families in the South West and the place starts to get real live during the holidays. The people show up there during the holidays to party, and the party is always live in Rocky Point. If you have never been there you are missing out on a great family vacation destination that is close to the border. It’s my preference to visit Mexico as close to the border as I can. Places like Cancun are a little deeper than I want to travel with my wife and kids. As a single guy I didn’t mind making the trip into the heart of Mexico, I have survived every situation thrown at me so far in life and the middle of Mexico didn’t bother me any, but traveling there with my family is a whole different story. That is why Rocky Point has been so appealing over the years. The real estate market there has been pretty affordable as the place has been developing over the last 15-20 years.

Wake Up – It’s Not A Dream – Weed Is Being Legalized

Stoners rejoice! Weed is being legalized around the country and we can finally puff some herb without having to duck the authorities. Back in Jr. High I was nabbed by campus security for blazing a J out in the woods just of the school property. This jack ass was creep’n through the woods off campus trying to bust us and he got me. Looking back though, dude was alright. He took my weed and gave us a big brother kinda talk and let us go, in those same woods in Washington State smoking weed is legal. Its about time they come around on this, alcohol has long been the governments poison of choice because of the complete control they have over it and the money they make taxing it. I think there is some fear that they can’t control this industry like they want, the FDA is working hard to make sure they create more monopolies, and that the small guys aren’t interfering with the crooked efforts of the real drug dealers in D.C. Enough of that rant though, we are living in a time were more government officials around the country are acknowledging that marijuana and CBD oils have some value in our society and shouldn’t be outlawed. People that use marijuana definitely shouldn’t be imprisoned over a sack a weed. Unfortunately there are people sitting in the bing as I type this that have been locked away over some weed smoke. That is an absolutely ridiculous though if you take a step back and think about what that statement says. Basically, if you burn and inhale the smoke of a plant that grows naturally on this earth then you are a criminal. Seriously?  That is absurd, too much control over everything and big government will be wedging itself in the middle of this money making opportunity to ensure they control it all. Weed is being legalized in around the country and already is in Washington State, Oregon, Nevada, California, and Colorado.

There are other states on the east coast that have also joined the 420 club, I’ll make my way there eventually. One concern I have is that a company like Monsanto will takeover the cannabis industry by swooping  in and getting pattens on weed seeds so that farmers are strong armed into buying GMO seeds from these monsters and the idea of smoking organically grown weed then becomes this commercialized product owned and controlled by companies like Monsanto. Hurry up and get your anti Monsanto t shirt here. My goal is to buy up as many marijuana seeds as I can and start a seed safe. Having a safe full of weed seeds will protect our future from the potential monopolized threat that big government poses on the industry. You can legally buy seeds in any of the states that have legalized marijuana. I took a drive to Boulder, Colorado and bought marijuana seeds from Helping Hands Dispensary and have kept them in my seed safe with some other collections I have purchased over the years. If we don’t wake up and smell the cannabis, we might find ourselves enjoying legalized marijuana in the commercially controlled environments that the government wants us in.

My Journey To Titusville Florida

More Wakeup moments for you to enjoy. When I was young I was dumb and gave zero fucks about anything. I was living in Texas and working for a construction company doing random handyman gigs. I was living on the couch of a buddies place and was pretty broke for the most part. I had some cash stuffed in a shoe box, no bank account, and no property that I owned including a car. There were some friends in Florida that were having the time of their lives (according to their facebook profiles) and I made the decision to head out to Florida and maybe get a job at Disney World or something cool like that. Bartending was also on the radar, I was thinking Miami Beach and the night life there and sounded amazing. So that was the dream, head out to Florida, meet up with my friends, and become a bartender of the night life or a Disney World employee.

Hitching A Ride To Florida

I was going to grab a bus out to Florida but wasn’t sure if I could stand being on a bus with a bunch of freaks for hours and not having control over the journey. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, I had no car, so the bus was clearly the best option. Then the night before my departure I met these lesbian girls at Nepalese wedding. It was a strange encounter for sure, the feminine one in the relationship was beautiful, the man of the bunch was far less attractive, and yet I still caught myself undressing them both with my eyes and picturing them in action. They were also leaving for Florida except Miami was not part of their travel plans, they were heading to Titusville Florida to elope and find work. I knew they were making the drive so I followed them to their apartment that night to find out where they lived. My plan in the morning was to catch them on their way out of town with my thumb up. It sounds a little absurd, but it worked. I grabbed my bag in the morning and stood out on the street in front of their apartment and they took the bait. Oh, what a coincidence it is seeing you guys here, I’m on my way to Florida also, can I catch a ride? And that’s how I hitched a ride to Florida.

The Drive

The drive wasn’t bad, the three of us hit it off like Threes Company and we covered ground pretty quick. There were a few stops to eat and pee, other than that we didn’t waste time stopping at any tourist destinations, we just plowed through like champs.

Titusville Florida

I had dreams of Miami, but the girls were destined for Titusville. Prior to them telling me about it I had never even heard of Titusville. These awesome ladies were nice enough to ask if I wanted to go in on a place with them and of course I wanted too. We ended up renting a house on a 1 year lease and the journey to find work began. Disney World was way out of the question and the bars in Titusville definitely didn’t have the appeal of those Miami bars I had seen online and in the movies. I jumped online and came across some job listings on the Titusville Craigslist page. I wasn’t interested in any labor jobs and the best thing I could find that paid a decent wage was a strip club out in the sticks. Well, that wasn’t appealing either. So I opted into trying my hand at labor. I replied to an ad from a Titusville roofing company that was offering $15 an hour for some shlep work and I jumped on it. I lasted about three months before the labor became too much for me. My hands were meant to pour drinks, take theme park tickets, and surf the internet. I was not meant to nail down shingles or pick up scraps around the ground of residential properties. Our stint in Titusville was short lived, we bailed out of there after the 1 year lease was over. I’m not sure what happened to the girls, they were definitely done with me and my perverted comments. I drove down to Miami and tried to get a job as a high profile bartender but never made it past bussing tables. Miami was a wild time, more great stories to share about my time in Miami, but I’ll save that for another time.

I Got A DUI On My 16th Birthday

Well, this is a little embarrassing! I got a DUI on my 16th birthday. Yeah, my parents were kind enough to buy me a car when I turned 16 and like the snot nosed brat I was, I cared little about the people around me and how they would be impacted by my actions. What can I say though, I was 16 years old and had a good time on my mind and I just got a 4 door Subaru Legacy for my birthday. An AWD Subaru Legacy was an epic buy for a kid that spent most the time in the mountains of Washington State skiing during the winter. We were either at Stevens Pass or Snoqualmie Pass every weekend. The Subaru ran strong, had a roof rack, and I could pile 5 of us in there comfortably. Yeah, you could say that I had it made at the time but I didn’t realize it. Anyway, my parents handed me the keys to the Subaru the day I turned 16. I had been driving with a permit for the past year and was ready to own the roads in Washington State. We went to the DMV and took the test in the morning, I had my drivers license within an hour of passing the written exam and was driving my new Subaru Legacy around town like a boss. I stopped by my friends house to show off the new ride and couldn’t leave without smoking a bowl and having a beer. That’s just how we rolled at 16 years old. Puffing on ganja and drinking beer was already the norm by the time we were 15. At this point I had been smoking and drinking 2-3 times a week and didn’t think twice about it. I left there after a blunt and a beer and made another stop at my friend Travis’s house. His parents weren’t home and you know what that meant, we raided the fridge for beers and cleaned out his old mans stash in an hour. That was about 3 beers each. So now I’m 4 beers deep and high from the weed smoke and wondering if I should be driving. At that age in my life I was making all sorts of great decisions and decided that I was cool to drive. I jumped in the Legacy and continued on over to Tuckers house to show him my new wheels, I pulled the car into his garage where we often gathered to listen to music and get into trouble. He had a mini fridge in that garage that always had a few 40oz beers in there thanks to his older brother. He would buy us beer and we would get him weed in exchange for his efforts. It was a decent little connection we had at the time that was consistently available, which made us the goto guys on campus for scoring brews on the weekend. Well, we killed a 40oz each and rocked out to some Seattle grunge music in the car for an hour. Now I was feeling really good, I was playing air guitar, singing along to my favorite songs, and definitely should not have pulled out of that driveway. But I did what any normal 16 year old drunk would do at that time and I jumped in the drivers seat and pulled out of the garage like I had been drinking water all day. I made it about a mile down the road before I ran up a curb and blew out my front tire. The front alignment was thrown off, the tire balance destroyed, and the rim was damaged. I had hit a parked car also which is what the police were called. My parents had the car towed to an auto repair mechanic that was able to fix the front axle, correct the alignment, replace the rim, mount a tire and re-balance the wheel. I got a DUI but it was later reduced to a slap on the wrist and some community service. My folks grounded me for a month, couldn’t drive for two months, and they were in my face smelling my breath every time I came home for most of that school year. I didn’t stop drinking and driving, I just got better and managing my intake and covering the smell. Clearly it was time for me to Wake Up! I hope my kids never read this, I’m sure I am in for it sooner or later with at least one of them. Until then I will enjoy their innocence and share my life stories with the rest of you. Adios!

How A Clean Car Can Get You More Ladies

Wake up fellas! Women don’t want to date a pig! If your room is a mess and you plan on taking her home for the night, you better spend some time getting the place picked up and smelling proper. Women have a keen sense of smell, your socks from the gym that have been on the floor all week will be one of the first things she notices. Get your spank rag off your night stand, put your shoes in your closet, make your bed, and prepare the place for some romance. All that and you still have to get her there. You gotta pick her up, take her out on a date, and invite her back and all of that revolves around your car. If you have a really nice car then good for you, if you keep up on the maintenance and keep it clean then good for you, if you don’t then wake up! No chick wants to climb into a car that looks like it’s being lived in. An interior and exterior car cleansing is a must for the first date. Get those empty beer cans out of the back seat, empty the roach clips out of the ashtray, and get those food wrappers out from under your front seat. If you have a stash of rubbers in the glove box, hide those! Let’s not be tacky here, you don’t want miss right digging through the glove box and finding a half empty box of cum stoppers chilling there. You gotta have class, you gotta play the part if you want the lady! Clean up your act you scumbag POS and get your ride looking like the transport vehicle she was born to be picked up in! You can wash your ride yourself if you have the time, or you can cough up some coin and hire an affordable car detailer to handle all the elbow grease for you. This depends on your work ethic, how much time you have, and how much you really care about impressing the girl of your dreams. Even if she’s not the girl of your dreams, maybe she’s just some 2buck slut, whatever the case you still need to have your car looking and smelling clean! Even hookers have a sense of smell, and if you thinking you’re getting some head in the front seat of stinky car from a semi-classy whore you’re dead wrong! Even they have boundaries! Don’t be a chump, if you wanna hump, make sure your car’s not a dump! Simple words of advise from Dr. Clean. Clean up your act, clean up your room, clean up your car and you might get some womb!

Wake Up And Give Bone Marrow!

Time to wake up people and donate bone marrow. If you are donating blood you are doing a great job of contributing to the community that needs your help. People lose blood everyday and are in need of transfusions and there isn’t always available blood types so donors need to be more active about their contribution efforts. Even more importantly is the need to find more bone marrow donors. Patients all around the country are waiting for donors to step up and get swabbed. CBS News put out an article a few years back about “The Kindness of Strangers”. The article discusses the needs of the patients and also showcases stories of successful bone marrow transplants and how it has helped kids recover from rare cancers. Exact match bone marrow donors are needed for patients just like exact match blood types are needed for blood transfusions. Featured in that CBS article is the Gift of Life bone marrow match registry. If you are interested in getting swabbed and becoming a donor you can visit that website to register.

Get Swabbed

One of the first things you can do to become a bone marrow donor is to find a bone marrow match registry to submit DNA swabs too. The first part of the registration process is getting swabbed and finding out your donor type. Once you have registered and you have been swabbed you will be added to the donor registry to see if you are a match for anyone in need of a stem cell transplant. If you are a match then you will be contacted and the process will begin. This is where you can truly make a difference in your community and across the country.

Making A difference

If you ever wanted to make a difference but haven’t been sure about how to make that happen you have found the ultimate opportunity to not only make a difference, but to save lives. Blood cancer affects thousands of people in this country and the need for stem cell and bone marrow donations is greater than ever. Becoming a bone marrow transplant donor can truly make a difference in someones life. Make a difference today by finding a bone marrow match registry, getting swabbed, and getting registered to become a stem cell donor.