Donating Blood and Stem Cells

People need blood, and people need stem cell transplants, so it’s time for us to WakeUp as a culture and does some donating, especially this time of year.

The numbers don’t lie, blood transfusions and bone marrow disease are real, and you can do something about it!! There are about 35,000 pints of blood used in the U.S. every day, according to BNL Blood Drives. That is insane, and if you never been on either side of it, you wouldn’t fathom how massive that is. There are people in need of blood every day for life-saving reasons, so if you have never donated, now is the time to step up and give back. There are blood donation centers all around the country, click that link, and you can find one in your area.

patient donating blood at hospital

There are many reasons for receiving blood; some people wind up in horrific accidents and lose significant amounts of blood. In contrast, others need transfusions because of complications from disease and health-related issues. Regardless of why they need it, just knowing that 35,000 pints of blood are used each day should wake you up like a blast of NARCAN and get you running to your nearest donation center.

Knowing that could be you one day if you accidentally run a red light, or your child if they are injured in some freak accident on the playground. Who knows when, and who knows how? We don’t, so it’s best to be prepared. Giving your blood to others will ensure that there is a local supply in your community for your blood type, and that could mean something if you find yourself in the emergency room one day in need of a few pints of Dracula juice.

Blood talk aside, bone marrow donors are also needed as more than 44,000 Americans will need a bone marrow transplant this year alone. Bone cancer is killing people, and you can do your part saving a life by donating. The technology behind it all is getting better; it’s less painful and has a faster recovery time than ever before.

The new year is almost here, step up, and donate blood and bone marrow. People need you, and one day it could be you in need. It’s time to WakeUp and smell the coffee people, the disease is real, and it could happen to you or a loved one anytime. So make the right decision and start looking into some of these resources on donating blood and marrow.

stem cell donation services for cancer patients

Blood Donation Resources:

Find a Blood Drive
• Blood Donation Overview
Donation and Transfusion Education

Stem Cell Donation Resources:

• Find a Stem Cell Donation Center
• Stem Cell Donation Overview
• Stem Cell Donation Education

These are just a few national resources that anyone can access and review. Do your research, find local donation centers that represent a definite cause, and their not just a profit-hungry organization getting into the business for financial gains. Plenty of these donation centers were built because loved ones have been lost, make sure you are giving for the right cause, and to the right organization so that you know your blood or stem cell donations wind up helping the right people.

Women’s Golf Is Taking Off

Wakeup! Women’s golf continues to gain popularity, and more young girls are taking up the sport than ever before. Here we discuss why we love the sport and who our favorite girl golfer is at this time.

Stephanie Meadows is a women golfer who played at the University of Alabama originally from Northern Ireland. She placed third in the U.S. women’s open in 2014.

She is now sitting in the 112 spot of the 2019 LPGA Tour money list. She only has one event left to improve her place for the 2020 listing. Her life is full of having to overcome the past and her consistent perseverance shown in the Volunteers of America Classis when she shot a 63 to take the 18-hole lead. She is coming off if the 2012 NCAA national championship title and the 2014 U.S. Women’s open. She continues to show her career-low score of 63 to this day. She also wins the 2015 Heather Farr Perseverance award because she handled what life threw her way when her father passed away.

She was then tested again in 2017 when she found out she had a stress fracture in her lower back. She was misdiagnosed for ten weeks, and after this was diagnosed, she underwent surgery followed by months of rehab. After this surgery, she could not retain her card in the 2018 season, and she went to the Symetra Tour. She earned 6th place and retrieved her card again.

She continued to be tested in life, yet she continued to persevere and push through. She missed the cut in the 2019 debut at the ISPS Handa Vic Open. This was because of her falling down the stairs, twisting her ankle, and playing in a great amount of pain in Australia. She continued to miss cuts, as many as six throughout June and July. This caused her to reevaluate her game and lower her self confidence, but she kept pushing.

Since Meadow continued to persevere, she moved back up to 11th place in July at the Marathon Classic and an invitational. She also traveled back to her home country and played for money with women and men in the ISPS invitational.

Recently, Meadow got five birdies from the second hole to the sixth and bogey-free round. This resulted in her now sitting at the top of the leaderboard for the first time in her entire career. She never stopped battling and never backed down. She is not only back and playing, but she is winning championships. This allowed her to realize what she can accomplish when she doesn’t back down. This girl has battled through a lot and rocked a sexy sleeveless golf shirt the whole time!

The whole world has seen what Meadow has accomplished, and they have also seen what has been thrown at her but not stopped her. She is the top 2020 person to watch in women’s golf. She has given a great example of what it’s like to keep on fighting in anything you do. Especially something you love doing. She is not only back and playing, but she is winning titles and making a great name for herself.

How You Can Improve Conversion With Call Tracking

Call Tracking Software For Your Business

Wake up, people! This is the era of digital marketing, and if you don’t use call tracking for your business, you have been sleeping under a rock somewhere. Grab a cub of your most robust coffee, splash some Woodinvile Whiskey in there if you need, and get ready to learn about the value of call tracking.

Many digital marketers use resources like cookies and read receipts to understand how effective their digital marketing campaigns are. Most of these tools are incredibly useful for tracking engagement and conversion, but some marketers are missing the boat when it comes to call-tracking. Tracking inbound calls is a great way to find out which campaigns have been useful for you. You can add unique tracking numbers to postcard mailers, landing pages, social media profiles, and email campaigns.

Setting up your call tracking software should be pretty straight forward. You will need to create an account, buy a number, and configure the forwarding options. Here I’ll list this process in detail for you.

Find a Call Tracking Solution

This shouldn’t be difficult, and there are dozens of companies out there that offer Call Tracking for businesses. Call Fire, Call Rail, Call Tracking Pro, and Plateau Telecom are a few of the top companies online providing these services.

Create an Account

Login and Crete an account. Here you will be able to order your numbers, assign call forwarding options, setup voicemails, and add additional recipients for the calls to be forwarded to.

Purchase Numbers

If you have an affiliate site that sells a widget, or if your business would benefit from a custom number, you can try different numbers for different sites. You can buy a number for each social profile, paid ads, and for the various landing pages on your website. It’s relatively cheap to purchase numbers, so it makes sense to invest in multiple numbers for tracking.

Call Forwarding

You will want to configure the forwarding options so that the calls can be answered and tracked correctly. Having multiple recipients available to handle those calls would be ideal. You can create unlimited forwarding options, allowing you to forward the calls to the office, and personal cell phones.

Call Recording

As any digital marketer will tell you, conversion continues through to the point of sale. Recording the conversations, your prospects or having with your call center, receptionist, or sales team is a great way to track the effectiveness of those individuals once the call reaches the office. Having recordings to reference is also beneficial if there is a miscommunication with the client.

You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, and that stands true with inbound phone calls. The first time a prospect calls your business, it’s the first and most impactful impressions they will have. That is the moment where the call needs to be answered, and the individual taking the call needs to be knowledgeable enough to help the caller with any questions or concerns they may have.

Call tracking is one of the most affordable and most effective tracking options out there. By allocating custom numbers to specific landing pages, social properties, and directory listings like Yelp, you will gain a real understanding of the effectiveness of those campaigns and branded company profiles.

Benefits of Having Good Incident Management Software

software safety management systems

Too many people sleeping on the job, it’s time to Wakeup! Do you realize how many accidents happen every year as the result of sleep employees? Thousands! Seriously people, it’s time to Wakeup and pay attention to what’s happening around you.

In business, we like to think that everything will go smoothly, and there’s nothing wrong with hoping for the best. However, there also needs to be a plan in place just in case the worst happens, and this is where incident management software comes in. 

In case you haven’t seen this type of software before, it’s installed to alert team members when there’s a problem with an IT service. With a solution like this in place, downtime is limited, and you aren’t losing potential customers just because of a small issue with your IT services. Not only is the team alerted to the problem, some software solutions will create a report and even automate a workflow to ensure the problem is resolved as quickly as possible. 

Why have safety management software in your business? 

Boost Productivity 

In years gone by, there would be an element of guessing about incidents and the resolution required to get back up and running. Now, an incident management program will remove this guesswork and follow a set procedure. For example; 

  • Identify the problem 
  • Categorize the incident 
  • Set a priority level 
  • Respond to the incident 
  • Analyze whether there are patterns and trends to this incident and others like it 

When multiple incidents happen at the same time, the priority ranking ensures that the most serious issues are dealt with as early as possible. Meanwhile, smaller problems are fixed whenever the resources become available. 

 Help with Documentation and Reporting 

What happens when the shareholders, directors, or another stakeholder wants to see a report on IT service management and effectiveness? With an incident management system in place, it’s suddenly much easier to document performance and the utilization of resources. 

Visibility and Credibility 

Often, complaints and issues will come from the customer directly. Of course, customers need to feel as though their voice is heard and this is where the brilliant ticketing system is useful. Even when communicating with staff who have reported a problem, a ticketing system allows the other party to manage expectations and see that the problem is actually being investigated rather than ignored. 

When customers feel they have a voice, they feel valued by the company and it’s possible to build credibility within the market. At the same time, the IT department enjoys the system because tickets are organized and assigned rather than two people doing the same work. 

Quick Resolutions and Top Service 

With the biggest problems having top priority assigned to them, they’re more likely to get resolved quickly. Rather than wasting time on basic problems, the IT team can use their time more efficiently and this leads to the best possible service for all involved. If the website has crashed or a particular contact form isn’t working, it goes through the system and gets fixed with speed. For the customer, they see that this is a company that knows what they’re doing. You gain credibility, respect, and a reputation for brilliant service. 

Data Feedback 

As the final benefit of choosing incident management software, they gather data from all the incidents that pass through the software, and this has the potential to be invaluable. You can review; 

  • The time spent on each ticket 
  • The speed of dealing with each priority level
  • Patterns and trends of incidents 
  • Severity of incidents 
  • Difficulty of incidents to resolve 

By setting parameters, you can even use the software to meet SLA requirements. Therefore, you should now start to see why so many businesses are implementing this type of software. By forgoing this technology, you don’t get the data, your customers are left in the dark, and your resources are deployed poorly!

What Exactly Are Surfactant Cleaners?

Wake up! It’s Saturday morning and it’s time to help mom clean the house. I remember those days growing up, Saturdays sucked almost as bad as the school week. Mom would crank her music on, open the bedroom door, and say wakeup, it’s time to clean! I hated that with a passion. Well, fast forward all these years and here I am writing about surfactant cleaners, and little did I know back then, I was using them to clean that kitchen every weekend.

So What Are Surfactants?

The word surfactant is derived from a sequence of words called “Surface Active Agents.” The actual surfactants are molecules that are used to help reduce the tension of water on a given surface and helps it spread more evenly. To simplify this statement, why don’t we say that surfactants make water even wetter. Surfactants are also penetrating agents that are designed to get deep into the crevices of any service and loosen the soil so that cleaning becomes more efficient.

So How Does A Surfactant Work?

When you add chemical surfactants to water, you help the water spread more evenly over a surface. If you clean your kitchen counter and spray a chemical on the surface, you may notice that the liquid beads up on the surface of the counter. This chemical reaction allows the water to spread more evenly across the surface of your counter, penetrate cracks and crevices, loosen dirt and grime, and clean the surface more efficiently. Surfactants are made up of multiple molecular elements. There is a head and a tail, one attracts water (head), and the other repels water (tail). When surfactants are not present in water, the water will bead tightly. When surfactants are added to water they the beads flatten and cover more surface area. Adding surfactants to cleaning products helps the solution to spread more evenly and covers more of the surface you are trying to clean. 

Why Surfactants Are Perfect For Cleaning

When you spray a degreasing cleaning solution on a surface for cleaning purposes, the tail of the surfactant works its way into direct contact with the surface area. During this process, it will wedge itself between the surface and the dirt and grime that is on the surface area. By doing this, the surfactant element is loosening the dirt particles from the surface area, making it easier to clean. This process is referred to as roll-up and is referencing the event when the surfactant roll up the dirt particles as it makes contact with the surface area. Products like Aqua-cleen degreaser additives are added to household cleaning supplies to create this unique. As this happens, the hydrophobic tails of the surfactant cling to the dirt since it is not water. This allows the cleaning solution to bind with the soil and will enable you to clean more efficiently. 

Surfactants In The Home

Most household cleaning solutions consist of surfactants that help you every time you clean your kitchen or bathroom. Surfactants make cleaning faster and help keep surface areas clean and free of dirt particles. Surfactants can be found in the best laundry detergent, dishwashing soap, toilet cleaners, shower cleaners, and other interior and exterior residential cleaning supplies.

Advertising Agencies – What Can You Expect for Your Business

how to market your business online

In today’s world, advertising and the wider marketing section of your business has the potential to be a catalyst. With one marketing campaign, all your Christmases can come at once and the business can propel towards its goals. Alternatively, it could not only drain your marketing budget but drown the business too. 

With such high stakes, you may consider an advertising agency. If this is the case, allow us to explain what you can expect from the experience! 

A Reliable, Experienced Partner

First and foremost, the reason we choose a professional in any field is for their experience and insights. Whether an accountant or a car mechanic, we need their guidance in an area in which we don’t feel comfortable or simply need assistance. With an advertising agency, this is no different; they’ve worked in the area for some time, understand the strategies that work (and the ones that don’t!), and this has the potential to save lots of time and money. Media buying, video production, and digital marketing all require the expertise of an experienced marketing agency. Companies like Beyond Theory offer premier marketing services that cater to the needs of all business types.

As you continue to grow, the agency will stand beside you and contribute in whatever way you need. 

Support Across All Campaigns

Essentially, your chosen advertising agency becomes an outsourced chief marketing officer (CMO). As an addition to the team, they will help across all campaigns whether you want to focus on TV ads, social media, or another platform entirely. 

If we take social media as an example, this arena is continually changing. Rather than taking the time to stay up to date with algorithms and what advertising techniques are outperforming all others, outsource to a team of social media experts that deal with this area every single day.

Creative Assistance and Direction

Let’s face it, dealing with advertising isn’t just a matter of investing time, it requires creativity. With every year that passes, it’s taking more and more creativity to stay relevant in any industry. The more creative you are, the more likely you are to catch the attention of your target market. You’re not just paying to get these things done, you’re paying to get them done well. 

It’s important to distinguish between the big picture and more refined tasks too. As well as helping with specific campaigns, your advertising agency can help to innovate and create a strategy that pushes your own business beyond the competition. Over time, you can sit down with your new partner every so often and discuss how well the company is progressing towards long-term goals.

Data-Driven Expertise

We live in a world of data, and it’s easy to get lost in a sea of percentages and metrics. With an advertising agency, you have a service that will manage this data and make the right decisions based on customer segmentation, consumer behavior, and the ever-changing market. We’ve spoken about creativity, but creative advertising will only get you so far; you also need to reach out in the right places at the right times. 

Results

Finally, we can’t forget that the results will decide whether or not the investment has been worthwhile. Using everything that we’ve discussed so far, the reputation of advertising agencies is built upon their track record. With the very best agencies, they will exploit all the right avenues in order to boost exposure for your business. 

To finish, here’s some more things you can expect for your business with an advertising agency; 

  • A strategic partner 
  • Revenue 
  • Improvement in the customer experience 
  • Knowledge of advertising techniques and strategies
  • Ad content that resonates with prospective clients 
  • Growth 
  • Long-term planning

What’s more, the agency will adjust their service depending on what you need. Rather than a one-size-fits-all approach, they will listen to your needs and goals, learn your industry, and adopt a tailored strategy! 

July 2019 Hottest Month On Record

Wake Up! Anyone denying climate change is out of their mind! Polar caps are melting, the rubber on my shoes is melting, and the plastic surgery on Kylie Jenner is melting off her face!

Wake up people! Al Gore pushed the topic hard after he failed to win his presidential bid, politicians laughed, people blew it off, but there were a small group of “Green-Minded” individuals that took what o’l Al was saying to heart and embraced his message.

July 2019 is officially the hottest month on record and if you are concerned about what that means for your future, or the future for your kids, you better wake the Fuk Up! This is the hottest month on record since July of 2016.

The earth is being polluted at a rate that has never existed before. China, the U.S. and other big industrial countries have been back-handing Mother Earth like it was the 1950’s and dinner wasn’t made yet. Well, Mother Earth got tired of the backhands, and 70 years later has returned to burn our souls. Hell, maybe with all the recent mass shootings, it’s a sign that we are closer to hell than we think. These idiots have no respect for human life and these tragedies may be an indication that hell is upon us.

So what do we do once we wake up? It’s time to go green! If you live in Washington State, California, or Colorado… you have probably already gone green, you Bob Marley spliff smoke’n hippy hooligan! Seriously though, time to re-think how you operate on a day to day basis. Somebody tell Taylor Schilling that Green is the new black!

There are some environmentally conscious changes you can make to your daily routine and none of this is new to anyone. So listen up while I drop some green knowledge on that azz!

 Car Pool – This is an easy one, you have been told for decades to car pool, the emissions and toxic fumes are automobiles produce is an ozone wrecker.

• Electric Car – Electric cars are a thing, you can actually buy a vehicle that is battery powered, saving the environment of toxic emissions.

• Solar Car – Elon Musk is becoming a leader in solar energy. The potential for solar powered cars, and solar powered roofing supplies make solar a great choice. Heck, you can even turn your garage solar!

Solar Home – The home is an energy consuming machine that the drains the electrical grid dry of energy on a daily basis. For those states that run heaters most of the year (Washington) or those state that run air conditioning units 24 hours a day all summer long (Arizona) turning your home into a solar powered machine is a great way to contribute and do your part!

• Limit Fossil Fuel Dependency – If you love toys, and I’m not talking toys for the bedroom…. I’m talking big-boy toys like side by side razors and boats, you need to consider limiting the use of these toys and start thinking about mountain biking and other non-fossil fuel dependent activities.

Look, some of you will read this and take notice that the hottest month on record just passed us by, and from the looks of things now these temperatures aren’t cooling anytime soon. Those people that acknowledge this may be willing to make a change, go-green, go-solar, go-electric, and contribute to this effort. Then there is the other group that will read this and say, ugh, huh-huh…. this is like stupid. Those individuals will walk away from this incredible article only to light up a smoke on the back porch while spying on the neighbor girl sun bathing. If he’s inspired by her, then maybe, just maybe she an electric car, or solar powered home and can influence this Beavis into going green for the sake of Mother Earth before she back-hands us back like it’s the 1950’s and she’s a man hating machine on the warpath.

Termites Destroy Tiny Dream Home

500 Thousand Termites Destroy Tiny Dream Home

This is crazy, and you have never seen how fast a colony of termites can rip through your dream home, just take a look at this video and hope this never happens to you.

Now, imagine that is your home! The absolute destruction that a colony of termites can cause in a short period of time is unbelievable. They can destroy all wood aspects of your home, framing, flooring, roofing, and cabinetry. If you see signs of termite damage in your home, you need to contact a pest control company to evaluate the damage and provide you with some options for treating termites.

Most of the time termite damage is pretty noticeable, the tunnels are obvious, and so are the maze-like designs they carve into the wood. These patterns are pretty distinct and it’s hard to confuse termite damage with any other kind of insect damage.

If you are building your home, there are some great tips on termite prevention that you should read thoroughly to make sure you are avoiding termites at all costs. By setting up permitter barriers, you can keep termites at a distance from your structure for a long time. These treatment sessions however, will need to be applied quarterly to ensure termites are not invading your property.

In the initial stages of your build, you may also opt-in for termite treated wood. Obviously, the more preventative your efforts are, the more it will cost you in the beginning, but those costs are nothing compared to the damage termites can cause to your home permanently.

Termites are easily the most dangerous insect infestation your property could face. Unless you are allergic to bees, this is definitely the biggest problem you could encounter as a home owner. You can also check the trees on your property to make sure they haven’t been attacked by termites.

If you notice a termite problem and it appears to be at an advanced stage, it is highly recommended that you call a termite control specialist and a general contractor to evaluate the damage and give you a quote for replacing any wood structures that are weight bearing wood beams that may have been damaged by the termites.

As you can see in the video termites are very aggressive and should be taken seriously. Do everything you can to avoid this type of damage and keep termites far away from your property.

 

Plus Sized Girls At The Night Club

Here’s The Skinny On Plus Sized Girls

Wake Up! Plus sized girls are better soul mates and here’s why I say that.

plus sized girl clothesI gotta admit I have a bit of a thing for plus sized girls, and honestly I’d much rather date one than a slim one. I love to eat and you know a bigger girl is gonna be your partner in crime when it comes to dining. When I go out to eat, I go out to eat! I ain’t trying to pick at appetizer-sized portions, I want a meal and I don’t ever have leftovers. Plus sized girls that can tackle a meal and a cocktail are the kind of girls I wanna spend a Friday night with. When I hit the club for some 2-step action on the dance floor, I have my eyes on the girls in the plus size nightclub dresses! The way they be shaken to the groove makes a man like me wanna swoop in from behind and whisper something sexy in her ear, like “hey baby, how about you and me leave this club and go get some conversation started over some chicken and waffles”. You can’t say something sexy like that to a skinny girl, she might turn around and toss a drink in your face.

chicken and waffles

Plus sized girls in plus-sized dresses just have a way about them that demands a mans attention, the way they walk, the way they talk, there is something about them that’s like voodoo for a dude like me. The plus size nightclub dresses I like on a woman are elegant, not too revealing, but show enough leg and shoulder that inspire me to ask the fine lady for a dance. The club can be a crazy place full of gold dig’n women and scum bag men, so finding a plus-sized girl in the club who carries herself like a lady is like finding a diamond in the rough. Of course, having a guy like me approach them for a dance is something special also, how many times have you had smooth operator approach you in the club and ask you if you wanna go get some chicken and waffles? That might not be the line most girls wanna hear, but my plus sized ladies know what I’m talk’n about, and the fellas definitely know what I’m talk’n about. If you ain’t ever had chicken and waffles after dancing at the best night club in Texas, you miss’n out. One thing you wanna be cautious of though is getting syrup on your club clothes!

eating ben and Jerrys ice creamThe plus-sized girls I meet in the club enjoy extra butter and syrup on their waffles and I have seen plenty of them dribble some and make a mess of they plus-sized dress. This may be an opportunity for you though, I mean think about it. You hit the club, meet a fine plus sized girl dance’n on the floor, you whisper in her ear in the most sexy voice you got “hey baby, how about some chicken and waffles?” Next thing you know you at the waffle shack and she’s got two orders in front of her, now that’s love at first sight if you ask me! Next thing you know she got chicken grease and syrup on her fancy look’n plus-sized dress and is trying to clean it up with some wet naps. That’s when you make your move and invite her back to your place to wash the dress. It’s an easy invite if you lure her with some Ben and Jerry’s, if she says yes to that you might as well start planning the wedding.

Now, you need to be cautious of the plus sized dresses in the washing machine, depending on the size it can throw things of balance and make a racket in the laundry room. Best that you spread the dress out evenly in the washing machine, hit it with some extra laundry detergent in case she broke a sweat when she was bust’n a move on the dance floor. Now chances are you don’t have any extra clothes for her to wear while she waits, unless you a plus-sized dude like me and have some plus sized sweats and a t-shirt, then you good. Now it’s time to make this girl yours, forget the wine, it’s time to pull out the double fudge brownie Ben and Jerries, two spoons and throw on the Dave Chappelle show. If she’s eat’n that ice cream up, laugh’n along to some Dave Chappelle, and not even think’n about her plus-sized nightclub dress in the wash’n machine, you got yourself a keeper. And that my friends is the skinny on plus sized girls in the club!

ganja grindz coffee

Wake Up And Smell The THC Coffee

Wake And Bake With THC Coffee!

Wake Up! Or do you need a cup of Joe first to get the blood pumping? How about some coffee to get you up and some THC to get you high? With the legalization of Marijuana around the country, THC is being infused into just about anything you can ingest, huff, puff, or inhale! These new lines of THC coffees have me excited for many reasons, but two specifically.

  1. I love coffee.
  2. I love THC. 

The list referenced above is a true story, believe it or not! A morning cup of Joe infused with some purple kush just might be the kinds of fuel my brain needs to get work done around here! It’s as natural as the earth itself and has plenty of health benefits to go along with it. We all know that coffee is a major source of anti oxidants, and if you didn’t know, full spectrum hemp oils are power house sources of nutritional value. Combine the two and you have a true mind, body, and soul experience that is sure to make the day great. Imagine waking up in the morning and brewing a Keurig coffee cup in an instant that’s a combination of caffeine and THC. That would be the most convenient dosage ever and I guarantee the community of cannabis consumers would sip that Joe fo sho!

There are already a ton of coffees on the market that have infused THC with the coffee bean and brewers everywhere are jumping at the bit to get in on the action. Here are a few companies that are stoning the competition!

thc coffeeKoala Coffee

This cold brewed bottle of coffee infused goodness is enough to get the blood pump’n and the brain cells puff’n. This cold bottle of hippie brew comes with a 25g dose of THC to make the day the happiest it can be!

 

Brew Budz – A Cannabiniers Brand

This brew and bud combo was built to be used in any of the pod friendly devices out there on the market. I’m talking k-cup style THC infused coffee. Coffee pods plus pot equal a pot of pot coffee. See where I’m going with this?

canyon cultivation coffee reviewCanyon Cultivation Coffee

This dose of dope infused brew consists of 10mg of THC and 100mg of caffeine. Talk about the perfect ratio! I like just enough THC to spark the mental, followed with enough caffeine to turn those creative thoughts into action. One without the other is like food without the salt, it just ain’t that good.

 

House Of Jane Cannabis Coffee Pods

Another brand that is getting into the pod market, these pot infused pods are the perfect way to start your day. Most people have jobs, and jobs suck! A cup of this in the AM will surely make that shitty work day more manageable. For those of you with actual careers, this just makes everything better – see, this is for everyone!

pot o coffee podsPot O Coffee

Another play on the word game, thought I was first with the slick talk until I came across this brand. I can dig it, they are cool enough to create a brand of hand crafted infused cannabis coffee, I’m sure if I ever met the mastermind behind this batch of love we would end up blazing one over a cold brew.

Therapy Tonics

I am a huge fan of all these tonics that have hit the market. I see them infused with various herbs and roots, but this hemp infused tonic is the chronic! They have a wide variety of flavors to offer, enough THC to get the gears of the mind in motion, and I like anything therapeutical, so this is a no brainer.

ganja grindz coffeeGanja Grindz

I like ganja, I like coffee, and I like to grind. Waking up and grind’n out my day has always been the way of this guy. Gimme some THC infused Ganja Grindz and my mindz ablaze in ways never known to folks. If you hire me, just don’t give me a drug test, because I will fail miserably.

Clogging Toilets At Rogers Centre

How A Blue Jays Game Turned Into A Plumbing Nightmare

blue jays stadium

I went up to Toronto August 3rd to catch the Blue Jays and Mariners game (results here) with my buddy. We are both fans of the Jays, in fact, we have been Toronto fans since the days of George Bell if that tells you anything! Anyway, whenever we are in Toronto we eat like kings and drink like fish, there is nothing healthy about that trip when we make it. The game was awesome, the Jays beat the Mariners 7-2 which gave us even more reasons to celebrate!

During the game though, my stomach started churning, and I had to take a dump bad. I can usually fight off the cramps and gurgles, but when I start sweating it’s time to make a dash to the can! My buddy knew what was up, we have been around each other long enough that when he saw that look on my face it was clear that I needed to get to the restroom immediately. I jumped out of my seat and walked to the restroom at a pretty decent pace. When I arrived there was  a small line, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it, or if I was going to just have to drop this load in my shorts and flush them down the toilet. As my turn was approaching, I could feel this thing turtle necking and trying to push its way out my bum. The sweat was pouring on hard, I had pitted out my shirt, and my forehead was dripping.

sharted pants and clogged drains

After standing for almost 10 minutes in line, I reached point of no return, I had a little slip and totally sharted. I couldn’t tell if it was visible yet from behind, so I just closed my eyes and waited for the next bathroom stall to open. Some old guy cam wondering out of the stall and I almost knocked him over trying to get in there before he even had a chance to get out. Once I entered the stall, I couldn’t get my drawers off quick enough, within seconds I was sitting on the toilet and letting loose. I’m pretty sure everyone in Rogers Centre heard the disaster that was taking place. After 15 minutes of toilet time, two flushes,  and half gallon of sweat, I was ready to wipe up and get out of there. The only issue I had was the start stained underwear I had been wearing, I wasn’t about to pull those back up and watch the rest of the games with them on.

So, I made a beer influenced decision and decided that my compression underwear was thin enough to flush down the toilet. Ask me why I made that decision when I’m sober and couldn’t tell you, catch me with a few beers in me and ask and I’ll tell you I had no choice. Prior to flushing though, I wound the underwear up into something that resembled a rope, something that could easily slither it’s way through the Rogers Centre plumbing system and into the sewer lines. It was this intoxicated reasoning that led me to one of the most embarrassing plumbing disasters I have ever been a part of.

toilets overflowing

I twisted up the underwear and slid it into the toilet like a snake, I have had poops that resembled this so I figured I was safe. Once the underwear was pretty much out of site I decided to flush, what I should have done is just left it and let the next guy flush. I pushed down the handle and it was an experience that was lived out in slow motion. I could hear the water struggling to drain and watched it start to back up, as the water was backing up it was almost like it was sucking everything back out of the pipes and into the toilet bowl. The water was getting darker, toilet paper was resurfacing, and I was in a panic, what did I just do?

I tried to casually walk out of the stall, but that’s kinda hard to do when there are 20 people behind you trying to use that toilet. I waived it off as if I knew nothing about why the toilet was clogged, but as I turned the corner to wash my hands I heard someone say “hey, there is underwear in this toilet”. By this time the water was overflowing and the place was turning into a scene of chaos. They needed the best drain cleaning services in Toronto to clean that mess up. Hopefully they were able to reach a qualified plumber in time to get the toilet fixed before the 7th inning stretch.

pub in Toronto

I returned to my seat almost 40 minutes later only to see my buddy laughing hysterically at me. My shirt was soaked in sweat, my face red from embarrassment, and he knew it was time for a beer. We left the game early and headed over to the best pub in Toronto for some cold ones. Not sure I will ever return to Rogers Centre after that one.

Dating Girls In Oklahoma

Finding An Okie Chick To Date

If you just moved to Oklahoma and are having some issued finding a girl to date that’s not a Thunder fan, good luck! Seems every girl you cross paths with out there is screaming Westbrooks name even in the off season. It’s not like they ever won a championship, except when they were in Seattle and were playing as the Sonics, they got one then, but have never been good enough since being stolen from Seattle to make a legit run in the finals. Look, I’m not here to bash the team, I’m here to bash the girls I keep meeting that act like the team is the best thing to happen to basketball.

I was at an OKC bar last month on business and struck up a good conversation with you gal I would have considered dating material. She had a beautiful smile, held a solid conversation about a wide range of topics, could drink a few beers, and seemed like a genuine person. These are the kinds of people I enjoy meeting when I’m traveling, and since I frequent OKC I need to know where to find more chicks like this to date. She had some ideas she threw out there for a second date, she seemed real familiar with the area and live most of her life there. I’m a fan of culture and good food and it seemed she her finger on the pulse of the OKC food and art scene.

We committed to meet up the following museum of artweekend for a drink and night at the OKCMOA. We met up at a local brewery called the Anthem Brewing Company and threw back a few bottles of beer. It was just enough to get us both to open up and converse beyond the surface material we had been talking about. Some decent discussions about life, goals, and dreams. It was a cool hour spent at the brewery before we ventured off to the OKCMOA.

The OKCMOA is a pretty cool art museum downtown. They have local art pieces on display in addition to some rotating pieces that were making their way around the country. There was a cool women’s golf gallery that had some old golf clubs that were turned into an art piece. There were also some manakins on display that featured some very artistic throwback styles of old womens golf clothes. We both enjoyed the creativity at the museum, art is such a pleasure to observe with someone else that has an eye for it.

 

kissing on the second dateI gotta say after two dates I’m pretty impressed with this. Okie chick. We have so many things in common, laugh hard, and truly enjoy hanging out with each other. The second date we kissed goodbye at the end, I didn’t even try grabbing her tits, I enjoyed her company enough that I wasn’t willing to risk pissing her off over a boob squeeze. I will wait on that one. I head back to OKC in a few weeks and have another date lined up with her. Should be a good time, looking forward to hanging with my Okie Chick!

Time For Crossfit Fat Ass

Wake Up Fat Ass! It’s Crossfit Time!

crossfit

Put the Twinkie and soda down fat boy, it’s time to Wake Up! and smell the coffee!! Life is short, not as short as your pecker, but it’s damn short! If you want this thing to end sooner than is natural keep eating junk and sitting on your ass, if you want to live  a long healthy life you better start thinking about a few things that are going to make a difference in your timeline. One of those things is diet, the other is exercise. There are a dozen ways to skin a cat, the same goes with diet and exercise chunk-boy! You gotta find a diet that works for you, stop stuffing your face and learn about a little thing called eating in moderation. Thanksgiving is once a year, not weekly porker! When you add some exercise to those kind of eating habits you get results and those results I’m talking about is good health. So, now that we have the diet all figured out and you know that healthy foods in moderation are going to give you a better chance at living than your McDonalds diet you are currently hogging out on, it’s time to talk exercise. You can get buy walking the block, pumping the rusty weights in your folks backyard, or doing P90X in your basement, but if you want to make real strides you will join a gym. Getting into a gym and training in an environment where you can get support from the people there is gonna push you to get off your ass and play hard. You gotta get that heart rate pumping, sweat pouring, and body aching. Going half ass isn’t going to get you the results you need and want, so go hard or go home!


The hottest workout routine in town is Crossfit. Interval training has proven to be a successful way to lose weight and gain lean muscle. If you have never heard of it, or never tried it, you are in for a real surprise when you start throwing weight around and jumping from station to station with your fellow crossfitters. Now, like anything else there are gyms that do it and there are gyms that do it right! I have searched the web for legit resources about crossfit and found this resource about Boxing Inc Crossfit in Tucson and found that these guys are some of the most legit competitors in the country. Their team of crossfit competitors have been competing professionally regionally and around the country. You wanna lose some weight chunk? Join a gym like Boxing Inc and get some professional guidance as you navigate your way through the crossfit circuit. Once you are able to complete a circuit competitively, you can officially shed your title of fat ass and star calling yourself bad ass!

Balding In Sports

The Athlete And The Receding Hairline

balding men in sports

Athletes are notorious for wearing caps and helmets during game time, at least in baseball and football. But there are plenty of non hat/helmet wearing athletes that fall victim to hair loss. Is that hereditary or are these guys rock’n hats in their off time. I’m not even really sure what causes hair loss to be honest, I just know that there are a lot of athletes that are walking around with half a head of hair. Football players have high receding hair lines and I can almost guarantee that it’s due to the helmets they have worn since high school. Baseball players are constantly wearing caps during the game and when in the outfield. But basketball players don’t wear any caps during the game and most of them are bald. I realize that for many it’s a style, but for the many others that don’t rock it as a style, the bald look is something they actually don’t want to be seen with. Many athletes trim up other areas of their body and go hairless on their tattooed arms, but the head is a whole other story. I’ve rocked long hair most of my life, so the crew cut style look has never really appealed to me. I can’t imagine that Lebron James is thrilled about his head of hair, or that any other basketball player that is losing his mop is happy about that. So what do you do? Sign up for an NBA hair transplant? If you are making millions playing sports I say fugettaboutit! You don’t need a head of hair to attract women. The massive bulge in your wallet should draw the attention of the finest babes in town, and if they aren’t attracted to you, just buy their love for a night, it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than falling in love! Hair loss among your average guy doesn’t seem as rampant as it does in professional sports. I know many guys on personal levels and business acquaintances that have full heads of hair, I know more guys with hair than without. So what does that say about all these balding athletes? Is it the supplements they are taking? Is it the constant hat wearing, keeping disguises 24/7 while in public? That has to wear away at the hair follicles on your head and leave your top short on hair. For those of you that wear hats on the daily and are noticing some thinning around the edges, wake up! If you don’t stop with all that hat wearing you will indeed lose your hair.

Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead

Brain Dead In Denver Doing Stuff

downtown Denver colorado

union station

Remember that movie from the 90’s called Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead with Andy Garcia and Steve Buscemi? If not, check it out because it was a pretty slick flick! Anyway, I was in Denver last month visiting a buddy and we were definitely looking for things to do in Denver, brain dead! Yup, weed in legal now in Colorado, which makes Denver a place to waste your mind! Not only did we drink like fish, we smoked like chimney stacks and ate enough edibles to sedate an elephant. Denver was cool, we hung out near Coors field and drank Coors Light all night! That came after we drank local brews all day and needed to water down our blood streams. Switching to Coors Light after drinking IPA all day is really like switching to water. We had to sober up, so light beers and marijuana edibles were a great way to sober our minds and get ready for the night life. We started out around 4pm for some real bar hopping, that came after drinking at least 15 beers each and getting stoned off some Colorado Chronic. I’m not gonna lie, we were ripped when we set foot out onto the streets of Denver and it was nonsense from the get-go. We started talking smack the second we hit the street and almost got in a fight with some local thugs, my buddy stripped down to his underwear and these dudes wanted nothing to do with us. It was a pretty epic moment and we couldn’t stop laughing about it the rest of the night. We wandered by some store front properties and ventured through some of the stores, poking around at gadgets and random locally made goods. We came across an epic find when stumbled into Franks Denver Barbershop to buy some hair gel. We started drunk talking with the barber who ended up being a hell of a guy.

 

They offered us a drink which was a great way to get our attention, apparently they pour drinks for their clients while they get trimmed up. Me and my buddy are both beard guys, obnoxious beard guys and don’t trim these facial bushes often. This guy was able to slip us some bourbon and and convince us that we needed an annual trim. We both took him up on it and slid into the barbers chair for a quick trim. I actually dozed off while getting cleaned up, the bourbon pour was stiffer than John Holmes and hit me like a hook from Mike Tyson. Word on the streets of Denver (actually just among those of us there) I may have even been snoring while I was in the barbers chair. That’s common when I drink all day and smoke weed, the pass out threshold creeps up quick and I can find myself unconscious in the most awkward places. While I was brain dead in a Denver barbershop, I had vivid dreams of dildos buzzing in my face and can now attribute that to the buzzing sound of the barber clippers. I cleaned up pretty well, still rock’n a mountain mans beard, just with less straggles and scrappy looking hair patches. When the barber finished he yelled Wake Up! in my face and I jumped up out the barbers chair like a bat outta hell. Next time we are brain dead in Denver looking for some time to kill with those brain cells, we will be swinging by that barbershop for some bourbon and a trim! Til next time Denver!

Buying Property In Rocky Point Mexico

Investing In a Vacation Property In Mexico

property management company

I like Rocky Point Mexico, you really can’t beat that trip to the sandy beach resort area. The beaches are beautiful, the sands are soft and powder like, the waters are blue, and the vibe is typically fun and entertaining. Rocky Point is a vacation destination for many families in the South West and the place starts to get real live during the holidays. The people show up there during the holidays to party, and the party is always live in Rocky Point. If you have never been there you are missing out on a great family vacation destination that is close to the border. It’s my preference to visit Mexico as close to the border as I can. Places like Cancun are a little deeper than I want to travel with my wife and kids. As a single guy I didn’t mind making the trip into the heart of Mexico, I have survived every situation thrown at me so far in life and the middle of Mexico didn’t bother me any, but traveling there with my family is a whole different story. That is why Rocky Point has been so appealing over the years. The real estate market there has been pretty affordable as the place has been developing over the last 15-20 years.

 

The condo projects are absolutely gorgeous and  we have thought about investing in one as a vacation property that we could rent throughout the year. The other option is buying a home either on the beach or buying a home just off the beach. Vacation properties have always been alluring to me as an investor, especially with places like VRBO and Air B&B out there giving me the opportunity to rent the property out to people traveling. The only issue I would have with a property in Mexico is managing it. After every vacation rental, someone would need to go in and clean the place to prepare it for the next family. If the property was here in the states we would have the same issue, except that we would probably purchase in state to make sure that we could have eyes on the property. Mexico does have some cleaning services and local maid services that could work but I would rather hire a property management company that has a local reputation for managing properties for American investments. There are a 100 reasons why I would hire a property manager as opposed to just hiring a maid service, even if the costs are substantially more than a maid service I think the level of accountability that a property management has to adhere to puts them at another level of trust than a maid service. If we do buy a vacation property in Mexico, we will probably connect with local American investors to see who they use to manage their properties and go with whatever makes sense. Rocky Point is a party hub, so vetting prospect renters will be key to making sure the lace doesn’t get trashed. Better Wake Up folks, the only thing getting trashed in my rental property will be me!

Wake Up And Smell The Cannabis

Wake Up – It’s Not A Dream – Weed Is Being Legalized

colorado girl getting highStoners rejoice! Weed is being legalized around the country and we can finally puff some herb without having to duck the authorities. Back in Jr. High I was nabbed by campus security for blazing a J out in the woods just of the school property. This jack ass was creep’n through the woods off campus trying to bust us and he got me. Looking back though, dude was alright. He took my weed and gave us a big brother kinda talk and let us go, in those same woods in Washington State smoking weed is legal. Its about time they come around on this, alcohol has long been the governments poison of choice because of the complete control they have over it and the money they make taxing it. I think there is some fear that they can’t control this industry like they want, the FDA is working hard to make sure they create more monopolies, and that the small guys aren’t interfering with the crooked efforts of the real drug dealers in D.C. Enough of that rant though, we are living in a time were more government officials around the country are acknowledging that marijuana and CBD oils have some value in our society and shouldn’t be outlawed. People that use marijuana definitely shouldn’t be imprisoned over a sack a weed. Unfortunately there are people sitting in the bing as I type this that have been locked away over some weed smoke. That is an absolutely ridiculous though if you take a step back and think about what that statement says. Basically, if you burn and inhale the smoke of a plant that grows naturally on this earth then you are a criminal. Seriously?  That is absurd, too much control over everything and big government will be wedging itself in the middle of this money making opportunity to ensure they control it all. Weed is being legalized in around the country and already is in Washington State, Oregon, Nevada, California, and Colorado.

There are other states on the east coast that have also joined the 420 club, I’ll make my way there eventually. One concern I have is that a company like Monsanto will takeover the cannabis industry by swooping  in and getting pattens on weed seeds so that farmers are strong armed into buying GMO seeds from these monsters and the idea of smoking organically grown weed then becomes this commercialized product owned and controlled by companies like Monsanto. Hurry up and get your anti Monsanto t shirt here. My goal is to buy up as many marijuana seeds as I can and start a seed safe. Having a safe full of weed seeds will protect our future from the potential monopolized threat that big government poses on the industry. You can legally buy seeds in any of the states that have legalized marijuana. I took a drive to Boulder, Colorado and bought marijuana seeds from Helping Hands Dispensary and have kept them in my seed safe with some other collections I have purchased over the years. If we don’t wake up and smell the cannabis, we might find ourselves enjoying legalized marijuana in the commercially controlled environments that the government wants us in.

Hitchhiking To Titusville

My Journey To Titusville Florida

moving to TitusvilleMore Wakeup moments for you to enjoy. When I was young I was dumb and gave zero fucks about anything. I was living in Texas and working for a construction company doing random handyman gigs. I was living on the couch of a buddies place and was pretty broke for the most part. I had some cash stuffed in a shoe box, no bank account, and no property that I owned including a car. There were some friends in Florida that were having the time of their lives (according to their facebook profiles) and I made the decision to head out to Florida and maybe get a job at Disney World or something cool like that. Bartending was also on the radar, I was thinking Miami Beach and the night life there and sounded amazing. So that was the dream, head out to Florida, meet up with my friends, and become a bartender of the night life or a Disney World employee.

Hitching A Ride To Florida

hitchhiking to TitusvilleI was going to grab a bus out to Florida but wasn’t sure if I could stand being on a bus with a bunch of freaks for hours and not having control over the journey. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, I had no car, so the bus was clearly the best option. Then the night before my departure I met these lesbian girls at Nepalese wedding. It was a strange encounter for sure, the feminine one in the relationship was beautiful, the man of the bunch was far less attractive, and yet I still caught myself undressing them both with my eyes and picturing them in action. They were also leaving for Florida except Miami was not part of their travel plans, they were heading to Titusville Florida to elope and find work. I knew they were making the drive so I followed them to their apartment that night to find out where they lived. My plan in the morning was to catch them on their way out of town with my thumb up. It sounds a little absurd, but it worked. I grabbed my bag in the morning and stood out on the street in front of their apartment and they took the bait. Oh, what a coincidence it is seeing you guys here, I’m on my way to Florida also, can I catch a ride? And that’s how I hitched a ride to Florida.

The Drive

driving The drive wasn’t bad, the three of us hit it off like Threes Company and we covered ground pretty quick. There were a few stops to eat and pee, other than that we didn’t waste time stopping at any tourist destinations, we just plowed through like champs.

Titusville Florida

I had dreams of Miami, but the girls were destined for Titusville. Prior to them telling me about it I had never even heard of Titusville. These awesome ladies were nice enough to ask if I wanted to go in on a place with them and of course I wanted too. We ended up renting a house on a 1 year lease and the journey to find work began. Disney World was way out of the question and the bars in Titusville definitely didn’t have the appeal of those Miami bars I had seen online and in the movies. I jumped online and came across some job listings on the Titusville Craigslist page. I wasn’t interested in any labor jobs and the best thing I could find that paid a decent wage was a strip club out in the sticks. Well, that wasn’t appealing either. So I opted into trying my hand at labor. I replied to an ad from a Titusville roofing company that was offering $15 an hour for some shlep work and I jumped on it. I lasted about three months before the labor became too much for me. My hands were meant to pour drinks, take theme park tickets, and surf the internet. I was not meant to nail down shingles or pick up scraps around the ground of residential properties. Our stint in Titusville was short lived, we bailed out of there after the 1 year lease was over. I’m not sure what happened to the girls, they were definitely done with me and my perverted comments. I drove down to Miami and tried to get a job as a high profile bartender but never made it past bussing tables. Miami was a wild time, more great stories to share about my time in Miami, but I’ll save that for another time.

DUI On My 16th Birthday

I Got A DUI On My 16th Birthday

repairs being made on SubaruWell, this is a little embarrassing! I got a DUI on my 16th birthday. Yeah, my parents were kind enough to buy me a car when I turned 16 and like the snot nosed brat I was, I cared little about the people around me and how they would be impacted by my actions. What can I say though, I was 16 years old and had a good time on my mind and I just got a 4 door Subaru Legacy for my birthday. An AWD Subaru Legacy was an epic buy for a kid that spent most the time in the mountains of Washington State skiing during the winter. We were either at Stevens Pass or Snoqualmie Pass every weekend. The Subaru ran strong, had a roof rack, and I could pile 5 of us in there comfortably. Yeah, you could say that I had it made at the time but I didn’t realize it. Anyway, my parents handed me the keys to the Subaru the day I turned 16. I had been driving with a permit for the past year and was ready to own the roads in Washington State. We went to the DMV and took the test in the morning, I had my drivers license within an hour of passing the written exam and was driving my new Subaru Legacy around town like a boss. I stopped by my friends house to show off the new ride and couldn’t leave without smoking a bowl and having a beer. That’s just how we rolled at 16 years old. Puffing on ganja and drinking beer was already the norm by the time we were 15. At this point I had been smoking and drinking 2-3 times a week and didn’t think twice about it. I left there after a blunt and a beer and made another stop at my friend Travis’s house. His parents weren’t home and you know what that meant, we raided the fridge for beers and cleaned out his old mans stash in an hour. That was about 3 beers each. So now I’m 4 beers deep and high from the weed smoke and wondering if I should be driving. At that age in my life I was making all sorts of great decisions and decided that I was cool to drive. I jumped in the Legacy and continued on over to Tuckers house to show him my new wheels, I pulled the car into his garage where we often gathered to listen to music and get into trouble. He had a mini fridge in that garage that always had a few 40oz beers in there thanks to his older brother. He would buy us beer and we would get him weed in exchange for his efforts. It was a decent little connection we had at the time that was consistently available, which made us the goto guys on campus for scoring brews on the weekend. Well, we killed a 40oz each and rocked out to some Seattle grunge music in the car for an hour. Now I was feeling really good, I was playing air guitar, singing along to my favorite songs, and definitely should not have pulled out of that driveway. But I did what any normal 16 year old drunk would do at that time and I jumped in the drivers seat and pulled out of the garage like I had been drinking water all day. I made it about a mile down the road before I ran up a curb and blew out my front tire. The front alignment was thrown off, the tire balance destroyed, and the rim was damaged. I had hit a parked car also which is what the police were called. My parents had the car towed to an auto repair mechanic that was able to fix the front axle, correct the alignment, replace the rim, mount a tire and re-balance the wheel. I got a DUI but it was later reduced to a slap on the wrist and some community service. My folks grounded me for a month, couldn’t drive for two months, and they were in my face smelling my breath every time I came home for most of that school year. I didn’t stop drinking and driving, I just got better and managing my intake and covering the smell. Clearly it was time for me to Wake Up! I hope my kids never read this, I’m sure I am in for it sooner or later with at least one of them. Until then I will enjoy their innocence and share my life stories with the rest of you. Adios!

Keep Your Car Clean For The Ladies

How A Clean Car Can Get You More Ladies

girl detailing car

Wake up fellas! Women don’t want to date a pig! If your room is a mess and you plan on taking her home for the night, you better spend some time getting the place picked up and smelling proper. Women have a keen sense of smell, your socks from the gym that have been on the floor all week will be one of the first things she notices. Get your spank rag off your night stand, put your shoes in your closet, make your bed, and prepare the place for some romance. All that and you still have to get her there. You gotta pick her up, take her out on a date, and invite her back and all of that revolves around your car. If you have a really nice car then good for you, if you keep up on the maintenance and keep it clean then good for you, if you don’t then wake up! No chick wants to climb into a car that looks like it’s being lived in. An interior and exterior car cleansing is a must for the first date. Get those empty beer cans out of the back seat, empty the roach clips out of the ashtray, and get those food wrappers out from under your front seat. If you have a stash of rubbers in the glove box, hide those! Let’s not be tacky here, you don’t want miss right digging through the glove box and finding a half empty box of cum stoppers chilling there. You gotta have class, you gotta play the part if you want the lady! Clean up your act you scumbag POS and get your ride looking like the transport vehicle she was born to be picked up in! You can wash your ride yourself if you have the time, or you can cough up some coin and hire an affordable car detailer to handle all the elbow grease for you. This depends on your work ethic, how much time you have, and how much you really care about impressing the girl of your dreams. Even if she’s not the girl of your dreams, maybe she’s just some 2buck slut, whatever the case you still need to have your car looking and smelling clean! Even hookers have a sense of smell, and if you thinking you’re getting some head in the front seat of stinky car from a semi-classy whore you’re dead wrong! Even they have boundaries! Don’t be a chump, if you wanna hump, make sure your car’s not a dump! Simple words of advise from Dr. Clean. Clean up your act, clean up your room, clean up your car and you might get some womb!

Bone Marrow Match Registry

Wake Up And Give Bone Marrow!

bone marrow donation process

Time to wake up people and donate bone marrow. If you are donating blood you are doing a great job of contributing to the community that needs your help. People lose blood everyday and are in need of transfusions and there isn’t always available blood types so donors need to be more active about their contribution efforts. Even more importantly is the need to find more bone marrow donors. Patients all around the country are waiting for donors to step up and get swabbed. CBS News put out an article a few years back about “The Kindness of Strangers”. The article discusses the needs of the patients and also showcases stories of successful bone marrow transplants and how it has helped kids recover from rare cancers. Exact match bone marrow donors are needed for patients just like exact match blood types are needed for blood transfusions. Featured in that CBS article is the Gift of Life bone marrow match registry. If you are interested in getting swabbed and becoming a donor you can visit that website to register.

Get Swabbed

mouth swab kit

One of the first things you can do to become a bone marrow donor is to find a bone marrow match registry to submit DNA swabs too. The first part of the registration process is getting swabbed and finding out your donor type. Once you have registered and you have been swabbed you will be added to the donor registry to see if you are a match for anyone in need of a stem cell transplant. If you are a match then you will be contacted and the process will begin. This is where you can truly make a difference in your community and across the country.

Making A difference

make a difference

If you ever wanted to make a difference but haven’t been sure about how to make that happen you have found the ultimate opportunity to not only make a difference, but to save lives. Blood cancer affects thousands of people in this country and the need for stem cell and bone marrow donations is greater than ever. Becoming a bone marrow transplant donor can truly make a difference in someones life. Make a difference today by finding a bone marrow match registry, getting swabbed, and getting registered to become a stem cell donor.

Instead Of Taking Their Unappreciative Kids Out, This Family Took Their Modem On A Day Trip To The Seaside

Parenting is difficult in the 21st century. With easy access to technology, it’s harder and harder to keep your kids away from screens and get them to be active outside and with their family members. However, there is always a solution!

Like when your kids refuse to go on a fun family trip, you get rid of their internet connection by taking your modem on the trip instead. That’s exactly what Australian parents Cassie Langan and her husband did. Not only that, they took a whole bunch of photos of the modem having the time of its life. The story was so awesome, it went viral.

Bored Panda reached out to Cassie in order to hear more about her story, how her kids reacted, and what the internet’s response was like. Cassie was happy to talk to us. Scroll down for the full interview.

While we’re on the topic of tech, after you’re done with this post, why don’t you check out our in-depth article about a mom who forbids her kids from using phone and TV screens and the positive effects this has.

More info: Facebook

Two Aussie parents took their modem on a trip to the beach when two of their three kids refused to spend some quality family time together

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

According to Cassie, her husband works as a truck driver. That means that he’s on the road all week and only comes back home to his family on the weekends. Meanwhile, Cassie said that her “daughter works weekends and I work in retail, so I often work weekends too.”

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

“It’s not often that we are all home at the same time,” she noted. “So Chris and I thought we’d take the kids on a day trip to Warrnambool to go to the model train show that was on there, as hubby and the boys love trains.”

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

However, things did not go as planned: “Our 17-year-old daughter refused to go and our 10-year-old son had a tantrum listing all the reasons why it was unfair that we were making him go.”

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Cassie continued: “Our 13-year-old son was the only one who reluctantly agreed to go. In the end, we said to the kids that if they weren’t going to go, we’d take the modem instead and they said ok.”

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

When they all got back home from their trip, something magical had happened. “When we got home, our 17-year-old was so bored she actually cleaned her room and spent time with her younger brother.”

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

Image credits: Cassie Langan

“When I showed my 10-year-old the photos, he said that ‘it’s not fair, we hate him and love the modem more,’ and stormed off to his room,” Cassie told us about her children’s reactions to what happened.

“The reason I made the post public is that there is so much on social media at the moment about politics, bushfires, drought, and people having a hard time in general that I thought if my post brightened one person’s day, it would be worth it,” she said. And we’ve got to say, it’s working. It certainly brightened up our day.

“I am absolutely blown away by how many times it has been shared and the number of people who it made a difference to their day. As for my kids, after the post went viral…. they finally see the funny side.”

The story took the internet by storm

I’m Honestly Fed Up With All The Bad News, So I Illustrated 50 Of The Best Ones From 2019

We are often bombarded with fear-mongering and shocking headlines that make us feel that the world is falling apart.

However, while it’s important to report on problems and issues, I believe there is so much good in this world that it needs to be found and promoted just as widely.

Because of that, I started The Happy Broadcast. It’s an anti-venom to the vitriolic rhetoric that pervades our media. Also, this year, I’ve illustrated even more happy news than in 2018.

We need more positive news to acknowledge that the world is actually getting better little by little.

More info: Instagram

#1

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

When I’m working on The Happy Broadcast, I try to pick news that has an international appeal and touches themes like animal rights, climate change and science. News that shows how much we’re progressing on many fronts despite being often bombarded with few-mongering headlines.

I think there are many reasons why negative news is dominating the media. It’s like a sudden disaster a, it’s more compelling than, for example, little improvements. Bad things can happen quickly, but good things aren’t built in a day, and as they unfold, they’re out of sync with the news cycle.

As humans, we have this thing called “negative bias” that make us respond quicker to bad or dangerous situations. Nowadays, this bias is getting in the way of our happiness and well-being, and even our productivity because most of the narrative surrounding us (print, online or mobile) is that the “world is ending”.

#2

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

I think we should find a balance between negative and positive news. From politics to climate change and economy, negative and bad news surrounds us everywhere we go. A potential solution could be to limit the amount of bad news, basically slow down our personal news cycle, adding some positive news to our “news diet” to make sure that our outlook on the world is more optimistic. Also, it’s very important to invest time to deal with misinformation and the reliability of news sources.

#3

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#4

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#5

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#6

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#7

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#8

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#9

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#10

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#11

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#12

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#13

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#14

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#15

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#16

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#17

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#18

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#19

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#20

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#21

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#22

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#23

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#24

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#25

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#26

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#27

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#28

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#29

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#30

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#31

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#32

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#33

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#34

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#35

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#36

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#37

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#38

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#39

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#40

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#41

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#42

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#43

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#44

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#45

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#46

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#47

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#48

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#49

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

#50

Image credits: the_happy_broadcast

This Instagram Account Collects Funny And Strange Things Spotted On Public Transport (40 Pics)

This page is the best-kept secret of the entire ‘Humans of’ series. Heck, maybe of the entire internet. Humans of Trolleybuses (Humans of Trūlai) offers a glimpse into the funny side of Lithuanian public transport, and it’s really colorful, too. Extravagant clothing, questionable luggage, they feature it all.

The creator of the page, Rokas Stasevičius, said he started it after one memorable encounter. Rokas was taking a trolleybus when one of the passengers, a drunk, was smoking inside of it, singing chanson songs and, after being kicked out of the vehicle, waved Rokas goodbye with a smile on his face. This pretty much sums up what content to expect from Humans of Trolleybuses.

More info: Instagram | Facebook

#1

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”

Image credits: humansoftrulai

For the most part, Humans of Trolleybuses relies on its community. “At the height of the page’s popularity, it was receiving about 15-20 submissions per day,” Rokas told Bored Panda. “To decide if a particular picture is worth a post, I’m trying to figure out whether it would enrich social media or trash it. At first, I consider the originality of the photo/video. It can’t be a repost or something lame in general as the idea behind the project is to create unique, independent content that isn’t toadying to anything or anyone.”

#2

Image credits: humansoftrulai

“Ideally, the photo/video makes up for about half of the entire gag. The other half is the caption, so, the more interesting and abstract the image or recording is, the more freedom there is to create a captivating caption.”

“The best captions usually come spontaneously, during the first viewing of the submitted material,” Rokas added. “If you’re overthinking it, it might end up too complex, forced, and only you and a couple more people can understand it. I don’t have one rule on how to craft the perfect caption, I just try to feel it out, make it something that compliments the picture/video without overpowering it.”

#3

Remember stuart little? this is him now. feel old yet?

Image credits: humansoftrulai

Today is also a tougher period for Humans of Trolleybuses. Rokas attributes the lower number of submissions and posts to the transition the page is making from Facebook to Instagram. “I believe that it’s only a matter of time before the project becomes what it recently was.”

He thinks that many people are drawn to Humans of Trolleybuses probably because they relate to the trolleybuses themselves. “It doesn’t matter how uncomfortable or slow they are. People sympathize with them and people need quality content which can also be funny.”

#4

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#5

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#6

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#7

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#8

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#9

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#10

When the other girl wears the same dress on prom as you

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#11

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#12

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#13

When she used to call me on my cellphone

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#14

Not sure how to feel on this one

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#15

Meanwhile in Klaipėda

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#16

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#17

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#18

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#19

>you’re not hungry

>this baba asks you if you’re hungry

>what do you do?

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#20

Dobby is no longer a free elf, he has a master

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#21

If it’s stupid but it works, it ain’t stupid

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#22

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#23

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#24

Wonder woman – Vengeance of Trolleybuses

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#25

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#26

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#27

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#28

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#29

How do you see yourself in 20 years?

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#30

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#31

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#32

Summertime sadness begins

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#33

“Shine bright like a trolleybus”

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#34

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#35

Relax fm

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#36

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#37

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#38

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#39

Image credits: humansoftrulai

#40

When you are straight af

Image credits: humansoftrulai

50 Times When Students Realized They Have Absolutely Awesome Teachers (New Pics)

Teachers don’t have to be stuffy, boring, and angry — they can be the most awesome and hilarious authority figures in your life. Those people are educators who go above and beyond the call of duty, using humor and shock to help their students learn about life.

Bored Panda collected the most exquisite examples of teachers doing funny things, so you can enjoy yourself while waiting for the weekend to start. It’s lists like these that really make you appreciate school more and not groan when thinking of an approaching Monday. Scroll down, upvote your favorite pictures, and leave a comment somewhere below about the funniest teacher stories that you know. And be sure to share this post with your family, friends, and fave teachers.

We know you can’t get enough of hilarious educators, so when you’re done scrolling through this list, check out our previous posts about the most awesome teachers ever, funny teachers who know how to deal with students, as well as the epic times that teachers trolled their students.

#1 This Is How History Professor Teaches About The First Man In Space

Image credits: OMGLMAOWTF_com

#2 My High School Art Teacher’s Amazing Van Gogh Costume

Image credits: vitaefinem

#3 A Little Wisdom From My Physics Professor

Image credits: brockhd

Humor is a wonderful learning tool and helps us retain information much better. That’s because humor activates the dopamine reward system in our brains, stimulates our long-term memory, as well as our goal-oriented motivation.

Or, to put it succinctly, we remember that which makes us laugh. It’s a fact that has been known throughout history. And it’s one of the main reasons why people living throughout history have suggested that jokes (especially naughty ones) help us remember things quicker and better. The next time you need to memorize something, try associating it with something funny and shocking.

#4 Our Professor Wears His Hat And Cape Every Time He Conducts An Experiment

Image credits: DealSupreme

#5 Today Was “Meme Day” At My Old High School For Homecoming Week. I Appreciate This Science Teacher Even More Now

Image credits: Ginger_King

#6 My School Just Got A Ton Of New iMacs. This Is What They Did With The Boxes

Image credits: AndrewStuderFilms

Sarah Henderson explains on Edutopia that humor helps unite separate individuals into a cohesive, supportive community. That’s very important in the classroom (not to mention outside the classroom as well).

#7 “My Face Physically Hurts From Smiling So Much Today, I Love Teaching You Guys” – My Professor, Who’s Such A Good Soul

Image credits: MattyIce6969

#8 Genius Teacher

Image credits: ShinyCharrmander

#9 Sitting In My Immunology Class When

Image credits: pants2422

However, not all forms of humor are equal in the classroom: the humor that educators use has to be related to the topic for us to retain the information for longer. But cruel or forced humor, as well as sarcasm, doesn’t always have the same positive benefits that genuine laughter does.

#10 There Is A Student In Class Who Likes To Draw A Cat Of The Day. One Day That Student Wasn’t In Class So The Teacher Drew One Instead

Image credits: CynilAli

#11 My Professor’s Door (Once You See It…)

Image credits: CantFindBacon

#12 Students Were Asking This Professor If His Shirt Is Missing The 2nd Part

Image credits: Jerrinq

#13 On A Door In The Health Sciences Building At School

Image credits: BootsOfDanger

#14 Our Teacher Told Us To Get In Groups And Practice Theses Shakespearean Insults, I Love English A Lot More

Image credits: karthilogan

#15 My Teacher Raises A Picture Of His Own Face To Make Sure No Student Is Lost During The Fire Drill

Image credits: ImIsaacOk

#16 My Professor Doesn’t Believe In Laser Pointers So He Uses A Fishing Pole With A Foam Finger Attached And I Can’t Contain Myself During A Lecture

Image credits: kirstenteigg

#17 After Not Taking Attendance All Quarter, My Teacher Assistant Was Out Of Town On Exam Day. This Was The Last Question

Image credits: dovahkid

#18 All Set For My Meeting With The Student That Missed More Than 30 Classes This Semester And Emailed Me To Set Up An Appointment To Talk About His Grade

Image credits: David Red

#19 A Series Of Unfortunate Events

“Professor Hendel, I am writing this email very embarrassingly. As I began writing my paper, I wrote out the template. Unfortunately, I could not remember your last name, so I filled it with something completely unprofessional. It was my intention to change the name before submission, but it completely slipped my mind. I attempted to resubmit the assignment but was unable to. I am so very sorry for the lack of respect that was used and again I apologize for this mistake. I hope that this does not reflect what you think of me and that the next assignment I can address by the correct name. Thank you again and I am so sorry. Thank you, Zoey”

Image credits: zoeyoxley

#20 Spotted In The Window Of A Biology Professor Office At A Community College

Image credits: ktbird7

#21 My Professor Asked Me To Bring My 7-Week-Old Kitten To The Class. He Learned A Lot About Poetry

Image credits: maddigains

#22 My Professor Gets The Internet

Image credits: ccxxcc

#23 The Coolest Math Teacher In Town

Image credits: longslowclap

#24 So My Drivers’ Ed Teacher Only Has 3 Fingers On His Left Hand And Took Advantage Of It When He Went To A Museum

Image credits: Andreastheslimjim

#25 My Biology Professor Was Wearing An Awesome Tie Yesterday

Image credits: Hindu_Wardrobe

#26 My Teacher Hand Draws/Writes Memes And Jokes Every Day

Image credits: Liar_of_partinel

#27 My Math Teacher’s Board Today

Image credits: superman743

#28 My Professor Exploding A Hydrogen Balloon Looks Like Defense Against The Dark Arts

Image credits: mycynicalaccount

#29 Frustrated With The Same Old Questions, My Professor Ripped Off His Shirt In The Middle Of Lecture

Image credits: reddit.com

#30 This High School History Teacher Has Been Drawing Picture Of The Day For His Students The Past Five Years

Image credits: jmayne

#31 This College Professor Has Been Dressing Up As Papa Smurf For Halloween For Five Years

Image credits: iam_dtliv

#32 I See Your Teacher’s Yearbook Photo, And I Raise You This. 2 Years In A Row

Image credits: xSpaz

#33 My Teacher Said If The Class Could Get An 80% Test Average On Our First Exam He Would Dress Up As Batman For A Day. A Pic From The Day We Got Our Test Results Back

Image credits: shutupdangit

#34 My Professor Gave Me A Present Today

Image credits: Littleboycat

#35 My History Teacher’s Presidential PEZ Collection

Image credits: ParanormalPoptart

#36 My Professor Brought In A 10 Mb Hard Disk From The 1960’s

Image credits: sixfivezerotwo

#37 My Teacher Nailed His Student’s Phone To The Wall For Using It In Class 20 Years Ago. It’s Still There Til This Day

..or he just probably bought an old phone and nailed to scare students.

Image credits: Dansawsumting

#38 Newton’s Third Law Of Motion: As Demonstrated By My Professor, A Skateboard, And A Fire Extinguisher

Image credits: likwitsnake

#39 My Professor Lost His Pointer. He’s Been Using This For The Past Couple Classes

Image credits: adambrukirer

#40 A Theorem And A Proof

Image credits: croco_duck

#41 College Professor Advice

#42 My Professor Wore This Today With No Explanation

Image credits: poguitar

#43 One Of My Old Teachers Does Different Costumes For Her Yearbook Photo Every Year

Image credits: Mausbarchen

#44 My Physics Teacher Made A Flow Chart Of Where He Is At

Image credits: Frozen_matter

#45 Professor’s Dog

Image credits: FearmyBeard21

#46 A Group Of Co-Workers Messed With A Teacher Who Was Very Picky About His Chair By “Borrowing” It Every Weekend And Taking It To All Sorts Of Crazy Places And Taking Pictures

Image credits: TheFifthCan

#47 Professor Reads His Reviews During The Course

Image credits: reddit.com

#48 We Had A Test Today And My Teacher Couldn’t Make It So He Told The Sub To Put This On The Screen

Image credits: Dragonkeepe

#49 My Professor Said He Spent Two Hours Trying To Match His Powerpoint With His Tie

Image credits: coltonkemp

#50 My Teacher Put Up A Picture Of Himself On His Door So It Looks Like He’s In His Office

Image credits: baked_potato17