Category: Blog

Wake up! It’s Saturday morning and it’s time to help mom clean the house. I remember those days growing up, Saturdays sucked almost as bad as the school week. Mom would crank her music on, open the bedroom door, and say wakeup, it’s time to clean! I hated that with a passion. Well, fast forward all these years and here I am writing about surfactant cleaners, and little did I know back then, I was using them to clean that kitchen every weekend.

So What Are Surfactants?

The word surfactant is derived from a sequence of words called “Surface Active Agents.” The actual surfactants are molecules that are used to help reduce the tension of water on a given surface and helps it spread more evenly. To simplify this statement, why don’t we say that surfactants make water even wetter. Surfactants are also penetrating agents that are designed to get deep into the crevices of any service and loosen the soil so that cleaning becomes more efficient.

So How Does A Surfactant Work?

When you add chemical surfactants to water, you help the water spread more evenly over a surface. If you clean your kitchen counter and spray a chemical on the surface, you may notice that the liquid beads up on the surface of the counter. This chemical reaction allows the water to spread more evenly across the surface of your counter, penetrate cracks and crevices, loosen dirt and grime, and clean the surface more efficiently. Surfactants are made up of multiple molecular elements. There is a head and a tail, one attracts water (head), and the other repels water (tail). When surfactants are not present in water, the water will bead tightly. When surfactants are added to water they the beads flatten and cover more surface area. Adding surfactants to cleaning products helps the solution to spread more evenly and covers more of the surface you are trying to clean. 

Why Surfactants Are Perfect For Cleaning

When you spray a degreasing cleaning solution on a surface for cleaning purposes, the tail of the surfactant works its way into direct contact with the surface area. During this process, it will wedge itself between the surface and the dirt and grime that is on the surface area. By doing this, the surfactant element is loosening the dirt particles from the surface area, making it easier to clean. This process is referred to as roll-up and is referencing the event when the surfactant roll up the dirt particles as it makes contact with the surface area. Products like Aqua-cleen degreaser additives are added to household cleaning supplies to create this unique. As this happens, the hydrophobic tails of the surfactant cling to the dirt since it is not water. This allows the cleaning solution to bind with the soil and will enable you to clean more efficiently. 

Surfactants In The Home

Most household cleaning solutions consist of surfactants that help you every time you clean your kitchen or bathroom. Surfactants make cleaning faster and help keep surface areas clean and free of dirt particles. Surfactants can be found in the best laundry detergent, dishwashing soap, toilet cleaners, shower cleaners, and other interior and exterior residential cleaning supplies.

In today’s world, advertising and the wider marketing section of your business has the potential to be a catalyst. With one marketing campaign, all your Christmases can come at once and the business can propel towards its goals. Alternatively, it could not only drain your marketing budget but drown the business too. 

With such high stakes, you may consider an advertising agency. If this is the case, allow us to explain what you can expect from the experience! 

A Reliable, Experienced Partner

First and foremost, the reason we choose a professional in any field is for their experience and insights. Whether an accountant or a car mechanic, we need their guidance in an area in which we don’t feel comfortable or simply need assistance. With an advertising agency, this is no different; they’ve worked in the area for some time, understand the strategies that work (and the ones that don’t!), and this has the potential to save lots of time and money. Media buying, video production, and digital marketing all require the expertise of an experienced marketing agency. Companies like Beyond Theory offer premier marketing services that cater to the needs of all business types.

As you continue to grow, the agency will stand beside you and contribute in whatever way you need. 

Support Across All Campaigns

Essentially, your chosen advertising agency becomes an outsourced chief marketing officer (CMO). As an addition to the team, they will help across all campaigns whether you want to focus on TV ads, social media, or another platform entirely. 

If we take social media as an example, this arena is continually changing. Rather than taking the time to stay up to date with algorithms and what advertising techniques are outperforming all others, outsource to a team of social media experts that deal with this area every single day.

Creative Assistance and Direction

Let’s face it, dealing with advertising isn’t just a matter of investing time, it requires creativity. With every year that passes, it’s taking more and more creativity to stay relevant in any industry. The more creative you are, the more likely you are to catch the attention of your target market. You’re not just paying to get these things done, you’re paying to get them done well. 

It’s important to distinguish between the big picture and more refined tasks too. As well as helping with specific campaigns, your advertising agency can help to innovate and create a strategy that pushes your own business beyond the competition. Over time, you can sit down with your new partner every so often and discuss how well the company is progressing towards long-term goals.

Data-Driven Expertise

We live in a world of data, and it’s easy to get lost in a sea of percentages and metrics. With an advertising agency, you have a service that will manage this data and make the right decisions based on customer segmentation, consumer behavior, and the ever-changing market. We’ve spoken about creativity, but creative advertising will only get you so far; you also need to reach out in the right places at the right times. 

Results

Finally, we can’t forget that the results will decide whether or not the investment has been worthwhile. Using everything that we’ve discussed so far, the reputation of advertising agencies is built upon their track record. With the very best agencies, they will exploit all the right avenues in order to boost exposure for your business. 

To finish, here’s some more things you can expect for your business with an advertising agency; 

• A strategic partner 
• Revenue 
• Improvement in the customer experience 
• Knowledge of advertising techniques and strategies
• Ad content that resonates with prospective clients 
• Growth 
• Long-term planning

What’s more, the agency will adjust their service depending on what you need. Rather than a one-size-fits-all approach, they will listen to your needs and goals, learn your industry, and adopt a tailored strategy! 

Wake Up! Anyone denying climate change is out of their mind! Polar caps are melting, the rubber on my shoes is melting, and the plastic surgery on Kylie Jenner is melting off her face!

Wake up people! Al Gore pushed the topic hard after he failed to win his presidential bid, politicians laughed, people blew it off, but there were a small group of “Green-Minded” individuals that took what o’l Al was saying to heart and embraced his message.

July 2019 is officially the hottest month on record and if you are concerned about what that means for your future, or the future for your kids, you better wake the Fuk Up! This is the hottest month on record since July of 2016.

The earth is being polluted at a rate that has never existed before. China, the U.S. and other big industrial countries have been back-handing Mother Earth like it was the 1950’s and dinner wasn’t made yet. Well, Mother Earth got tired of the backhands, and 70 years later has returned to burn our souls. Hell, maybe with all the recent mass shootings, it’s a sign that we are closer to hell than we think. These idiots have no respect for human life and these tragedies may be an indication that hell is upon us.

So what do we do once we wake up? It’s time to go green! If you live in Washington State, California, or Colorado… you have probably already gone green, you Bob Marley spliff smoke’n hippy hooligan! Seriously though, time to re-think how you operate on a day to day basis. Somebody tell Taylor Schilling that Green is the new black!

There are some environmentally conscious changes you can make to your daily routine and none of this is new to anyone. So listen up while I drop some green knowledge on that azz!

• Car Pool – This is an easy one, you have been told for decades to car pool, the emissions and toxic fumes are automobiles produce is an ozone wrecker.

• Electric Car – Electric cars are a thing, you can actually buy a vehicle that is battery powered, saving the environment of toxic emissions.

• Solar Car – Elon Musk is becoming a leader in solar energy. The potential for solar powered cars, and solar powered roofing supplies make solar a great choice. Heck, you can even turn your garage solar!

• Solar Home – The home is an energy consuming machine that the drains the electrical grid dry of energy on a daily basis. For those states that run heaters most of the year (Washington) or those state that run air conditioning units 24 hours a day all summer long (Arizona) turning your home into a solar powered machine is a great way to contribute and do your part!

• Limit Fossil Fuel Dependency – If you love toys, and I’m not talking toys for the bedroom…. I’m talking big-boy toys like side by side razors and boats, you need to consider limiting the use of these toys and start thinking about mountain biking and other non-fossil fuel dependent activities.

Look, some of you will read this and take notice that the hottest month on record just passed us by, and from the looks of things now these temperatures aren’t cooling anytime soon. Those people that acknowledge this may be willing to make a change, go-green, go-solar, go-electric, and contribute to this effort. Then there is the other group that will read this and say, ugh, huh-huh…. this is like stupid. Those individuals will walk away from this incredible article only to light up a smoke on the back porch while spying on the neighbor girl sun bathing. If he’s inspired by her, then maybe, just maybe she an electric car, or solar powered home and can influence this Beavis into going green for the sake of Mother Earth before she back-hands us back like it’s the 1950’s and she’s a man hating machine on the warpath.

How A Blue Jays Game Turned Into A Plumbing Nightmare

I went up to Toronto August 3rd to catch the Blue Jays and Mariners game (results here) with my buddy. We are both fans of the Jays, in fact, we have been Toronto fans since the days of George Bell if that tells you anything! Anyway, whenever we are in Toronto we eat like kings and drink like fish, there is nothing healthy about that trip when we make it. The game was awesome, the Jays beat the Mariners 7-2 which gave us even more reasons to celebrate!

During the game though, my stomach started churning, and I had to take a dump bad. I can usually fight off the cramps and gurgles, but when I start sweating it’s time to make a dash to the can! My buddy knew what was up, we have been around each other long enough that when he saw that look on my face it was clear that I needed to get to the restroom immediately. I jumped out of my seat and walked to the restroom at a pretty decent pace. When I arrived there was  a small line, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it, or if I was going to just have to drop this load in my shorts and flush them down the toilet. As my turn was approaching, I could feel this thing turtle necking and trying to push its way out my bum. The sweat was pouring on hard, I had pitted out my shirt, and my forehead was dripping.

After standing for almost 10 minutes in line, I reached point of no return, I had a little slip and totally sharted. I couldn’t tell if it was visible yet from behind, so I just closed my eyes and waited for the next bathroom stall to open. Some old guy cam wondering out of the stall and I almost knocked him over trying to get in there before he even had a chance to get out. Once I entered the stall, I couldn’t get my drawers off quick enough, within seconds I was sitting on the toilet and letting loose. I’m pretty sure everyone in Rogers Centre heard the disaster that was taking place. After 15 minutes of toilet time, two flushes,  and half gallon of sweat, I was ready to wipe up and get out of there. The only issue I had was the start stained underwear I had been wearing, I wasn’t about to pull those back up and watch the rest of the games with them on.

So, I made a beer influenced decision and decided that my compression underwear was thin enough to flush down the toilet. Ask me why I made that decision when I’m sober and couldn’t tell you, catch me with a few beers in me and ask and I’ll tell you I had no choice. Prior to flushing though, I wound the underwear up into something that resembled a rope, something that could easily slither it’s way through the Rogers Centre plumbing system and into the sewer lines. It was this intoxicated reasoning that led me to one of the most embarrassing plumbing disasters I have ever been a part of.

I twisted up the underwear and slid it into the toilet like a snake, I have had poops that resembled this so I figured I was safe. Once the underwear was pretty much out of site I decided to flush, what I should have done is just left it and let the next guy flush. I pushed down the handle and it was an experience that was lived out in slow motion. I could hear the water struggling to drain and watched it start to back up, as the water was backing up it was almost like it was sucking everything back out of the pipes and into the toilet bowl. The water was getting darker, toilet paper was resurfacing, and I was in a panic, what did I just do?

I tried to casually walk out of the stall, but that’s kinda hard to do when there are 20 people behind you trying to use that toilet. I waived it off as if I knew nothing about why the toilet was clogged, but as I turned the corner to wash my hands I heard someone say “hey, there is underwear in this toilet”. By this time the water was overflowing and the place was turning into a scene of chaos. They needed the best drain cleaning services in Toronto to clean that mess up. Hopefully they were able to reach a qualified plumber in time to get the toilet fixed before the 7th inning stretch.

I returned to my seat almost 40 minutes later only to see my buddy laughing hysterically at me. My shirt was soaked in sweat, my face red from embarrassment, and he knew it was time for a beer. We left the game early and headed over to the best pub in Toronto for some cold ones. Not sure I will ever return to Rogers Centre after that one.

Wake Up Fat Ass! It’s Crossfit Time!

Put the Twinkie and soda down fat boy, it’s time to Wake Up! and smell the coffee!! Life is short, not as short as your pecker, but it’s damn short! If you want this thing to end sooner than is natural keep eating junk and sitting on your ass, if you want to live  a long healthy life you better start thinking about a few things that are going to make a difference in your timeline. One of those things is diet, the other is exercise. There are a dozen ways to skin a cat, the same goes with diet and exercise chunk-boy! You gotta find a diet that works for you, stop stuffing your face and learn about a little thing called eating in moderation. Thanksgiving is once a year, not weekly porker! When you add some exercise to those kind of eating habits you get results and those results I’m talking about is good health. So, now that we have the diet all figured out and you know that healthy foods in moderation are going to give you a better chance at living than your McDonalds diet you are currently hogging out on, it’s time to talk exercise. You can get buy walking the block, pumping the rusty weights in your folks backyard, or doing P90X in your basement, but if you want to make real strides you will join a gym. Getting into a gym and training in an environment where you can get support from the people there is gonna push you to get off your ass and play hard. You gotta get that heart rate pumping, sweat pouring, and body aching. Going half ass isn’t going to get you the results you need and want, so go hard or go home!

The Athlete And The Receding Hairline

Athletes are notorious for wearing caps and helmets during game time, at least in baseball and football. But there are plenty of non hat/helmet wearing athletes that fall victim to hair loss. Is that hereditary or are these guys rock’n hats in their off time. I’m not even really sure what causes hair loss to be honest, I just know that there are a lot of athletes that are walking around with half a head of hair. Football players have high receding hair lines and I can almost guarantee that it’s due to the helmets they have worn since high school. Baseball players are constantly wearing caps during the game and when in the outfield. But basketball players don’t wear any caps during the game and most of them are bald. I realize that for many it’s a style, but for the many others that don’t rock it as a style, the bald look is something they actually don’t want to be seen with. Many athletes trim up other areas of their body and go hairless on their tattooed arms, but the head is a whole other story. I’ve rocked long hair most of my life, so the crew cut style look has never really appealed to me. I can’t imagine that Lebron James is thrilled about his head of hair, or that any other basketball player that is losing his mop is happy about that. So what do you do? Sign up for an NBA hair transplant? If you are making millions playing sports I say fugettaboutit! You don’t need a head of hair to attract women. The massive bulge in your wallet should draw the attention of the finest babes in town, and if they aren’t attracted to you, just buy their love for a night, it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than falling in love! Hair loss among your average guy doesn’t seem as rampant as it does in professional sports. I know many guys on personal levels and business acquaintances that have full heads of hair, I know more guys with hair than without. So what does that say about all these balding athletes? Is it the supplements they are taking? Is it the constant hat wearing, keeping disguises 24/7 while in public? That has to wear away at the hair follicles on your head and leave your top short on hair. For those of you that wear hats on the daily and are noticing some thinning around the edges, wake up! If you don’t stop with all that hat wearing you will indeed lose your hair.

Brain Dead In Denver Doing Stuff

union station

Remember that movie from the 90’s called Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead with Andy Garcia and Steve Buscemi? If not, check it out because it was a pretty slick flick! Anyway, I was in Denver last month visiting a buddy and we were definitely looking for things to do in Denver, brain dead! Yup, weed in legal now in Colorado, which makes Denver a place to waste your mind! Not only did we drink like fish, we smoked like chimney stacks and ate enough edibles to sedate an elephant. Denver was cool, we hung out near Coors field and drank Coors Light all night! That came after we drank local brews all day and needed to water down our blood streams. Switching to Coors Light after drinking IPA all day is really like switching to water. We had to sober up, so light beers and marijuana edibles were a great way to sober our minds and get ready for the night life. We started out around 4pm for some real bar hopping, that came after drinking at least 15 beers each and getting stoned off some Colorado Chronic. I’m not gonna lie, we were ripped when we set foot out onto the streets of Denver and it was nonsense from the get-go. We started talking smack the second we hit the street and almost got in a fight with some local thugs, my buddy stripped down to his underwear and these dudes wanted nothing to do with us. It was a pretty epic moment and we couldn’t stop laughing about it the rest of the night. We wandered by some store front properties and ventured through some of the stores, poking around at gadgets and random locally made goods. We came across an epic find when stumbled into Franks Denver Barbershop to buy some hair gel. We started drunk talking with the barber who ended up being a hell of a guy.