Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead

August 1, 2018

Brain Dead In Denver Doing Stuff

downtown Denver colorado

union station

Remember that movie from the 90’s called Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead with Andy Garcia and Steve Buscemi? If not, check it out because it was a pretty slick flick! Anyway, I was in Denver last month visiting a buddy and we were definitely looking for things to do in Denver, brain dead! Yup, weed in legal now in Colorado, which makes Denver a place to waste your mind! Not only did we drink like fish, we smoked like chimney stacks and ate enough edibles to sedate an elephant. Denver was cool, we hung out near Coors field and drank Coors Light all night! That came after we drank local brews all day and needed to water down our blood streams. Switching to Coors Light after drinking IPA all day is really like switching to water. We had to sober up, so light beers and marijuana edibles were a great way to sober our minds and get ready for the night life. We started out around 4pm for some real bar hopping, that came after drinking at least 15 beers each and getting stoned off some Colorado Chronic. I’m not gonna lie, we were ripped when we set foot out onto the streets of Denver and it was nonsense from the get-go. We started talking smack the second we hit the street and almost got in a fight with some local thugs, my buddy stripped down to his underwear and these dudes wanted nothing to do with us. It was a pretty epic moment and we couldn’t stop laughing about it the rest of the night. We wandered by some store front properties and ventured through some of the stores, poking around at gadgets and random locally made goods. We came across an epic find when stumbled into Franks Denver Barbershop to buy some hair gel. We started drunk talking with the barber who ended up being a hell of a guy.

 

They offered us a drink which was a great way to get our attention, apparently they pour drinks for their clients while they get trimmed up. Me and my buddy are both beard guys, obnoxious beard guys and don’t trim these facial bushes often. This guy was able to slip us some bourbon and and convince us that we needed an annual trim. We both took him up on it and slid into the barbers chair for a quick trim. I actually dozed off while getting cleaned up, the bourbon pour was stiffer than John Holmes and hit me like a hook from Mike Tyson. Word on the streets of Denver (actually just among those of us there) I may have even been snoring while I was in the barbers chair. That’s common when I drink all day and smoke weed, the pass out threshold creeps up quick and I can find myself unconscious in the most awkward places. While I was brain dead in a Denver barbershop, I had vivid dreams of dildos buzzing in my face and can now attribute that to the buzzing sound of the barber clippers. I cleaned up pretty well, still rock’n a mountain mans beard, just with less straggles and scrappy looking hair patches. When the barber finished he yelled Wake Up! in my face and I jumped up out the barbers chair like a bat outta hell. Next time we are brain dead in Denver looking for some time to kill with those brain cells, we will be swinging by that barbershop for some bourbon and a trim! Til next time Denver!